Last Blog for the Year!

I cannot believe that this year is over! It went extremely fast. Studying for the final exam was very stressful because I need to get a 94% or better to receive an A in the course. I studied a lot but it's going to either be a hit or miss when it comes to what I actually receive. I have fully enjoyed this class. Like I blogged before, I have previously taken this course and received a horrible grade because I had a teacher that preached a lot of her own beliefs instead of teaching the statistics. It was hard for me to go to class and participate when she offended me more than taught me. I enjoyed the teacher this semester. He kept things lively and upbeat. He never took attendance but I still found myself attending every lecture. I'm not the best "test taker." I could study for hours and hour days and days and still average a C on a test. It was SO nice to have other points offered in the class other that just test points. The genogram, family interview, blogs, and the extra credit opportunities were extremely generous on his part. I'm a textiles clothing and design major and those classes don't offer extra credit. Once you miss a few points on a project/drawing your pretty much out of luck. Sometimes students have some slips and its nice to make up for it when extra credit is offered. Overall, I really enjoyed this class and if anyone I know plans to take it in the future I will surely recommend it!!

Family Science

I loved this class!!! I learned so many things that not only apply to my major, but helped me understand my own family. I feel like I'm more prepared to deal with family conflicts. I find myself critically thinking about the relationships I have and how they function. I would recommend this class to everyone who wants to learn more about their own family.

I also thought this class was really interesting, and valuable, even if you are not a family science major. I think that many of the topics that we talked about are not only useful for professional purposes, but also in your own personal life. I will use many of the things that we talked about in class in my personal life, such as content/process that we discussed in class. I have really realized that the content really isn't important, it's all about the process of doing something that really matters. I have really enjoyed this class and also enjoyed the class speaker that we had the other day.

Class

I really enjoyed this class this semester. It kept me interested all semester. I really look forward to taking a class this summer with Dr. Hollist. I am a little worried about the test this afternoon. I have not had the time to study I usually do for finals. I know Ill do alright, but it still worries me to know I dont care as much as I should! Good Luck everyone on finals!!!

Final

I have really enjoyed this class so much this semester. Dr. Hollist did a great job making the class interesting and having great discussions. I really like the way we had lots of discussions in class and it was not just him lecturing at us. It was really interesting to hear other people's point of view. I have recommended this class to many of my friends because I really think they would enjoy it. My favorite lecture was the on about adaption. Dr. Hollist's first hand experience really made it more interesting. He really knows a lot about the process after going through it, and you can tell how passionately he feels about it. I am sorry to see this class end.

Final Test

Preparing for the last final has a little stress attached to it. I never stressed as much when I was a traditional student, but now that I am a none-traditional student test taking is a little stressful. If I have any advice for those who are out there who might be reading this, don't wait to finish college; do every thing you can to graduate. Sure, I started having kids and dropped out of college and raised my children and they are great adults with wonderful lives, that's an accomplishment in it self but nothing could prepare me for the back to school at the age of 50 to a major college. I enjoy the challenge of learning as I have always. Because the change of our economy I suppose many other none-traditional students need to return and get the new knowledge available; just as we had to return and gain knowledge in the computer era, who cares if typing this blogger took me 5 min. I got it done, bring on the test and lets have a good summer.

End of Semester

WOW. I can't believe this semester, and pretty much this whole year is pretty much over and done with. I was a freshman this year, and now I know what I have to do next year to be even better. This class has helped me a lot. I'm glad I took this class. I learned a lot and I will use the information I learned in class in my professional career. I also enjoyed this class. The information was relative to society today, and to my career.

Class Speaker

I loved when Chris come to talk to our class. He was full of interesting information. I really liked listening to him because he did not add any extra fluff. He told the truth and talked about it straight up, also with some very intense pictures. Those scared me to death. If those do not scary you from doing drugs, you must want to look scary and ugly. I learned so much more about drug use and mostly about the homeless in Lincoln. Chris knows his information very well. I was very surprised by the conditions some people were/are living in right here in Lincoln. They were under bridges living with anything they could find to block the wind. An image that really stuck in my head was a living area that that some really cool paintings. This guy created great artwork and was really good at it. It was all just very interesting and I enjoyed it was much. It was my favorite class period over all. He really put homeless people in a different perspective for me.

Homeless youth

Homeless youth in Nebraska, Lincoln!!! this is unbelievable, you just don't hear about homeless children in Lincoln. Maybe because we want to keep a blind eye to the truth about our sweet "Conservative" city; from now on after what was heard in class not only am I more aware of the problem, I now know I can make a difference.

The Last Class

I think this class most talks about how to communicate. A healthy communication is not only good for a family but also for every aspects of people’s life. When we feel upset, to communicate with someone is a good way to release your feeling. Also, to be a good listener is a very important part of communication. We should give full attention to the speaker, especially when they need our help. But I am a little confusing that the ignoring response. Sometimes I really do not know what to say, but I want to help the speaker just do not know how to help them. I do not want my ignoring response would hurt them. I love my family, even though sometimes we could not communicate very well. The love is in our heart. Next semester I will choose the communication course. I am not good at communication; I want to improve it. I hope one day I can help people through communicate with them.

I have a couple questions about the final exam essay questions, just wandering if someone could help me out. I'm not sure if the rest of you guys all understand them completely but I'm not sure. On question 2 about describing the Family Systems Theory and not the Family Strengths, are they talking about the homeostasis, boundaries, roles and rules? On question 3 it asks to compare parenting process of behavioral regulation with the attachment theory. I guess I understand it as we are supposed to explain the behavioral regulation process and then somehow relate it to the attachment theory? I am confused because in the attachment theory, it describes the attachment bond, behavior and style but I'm not sure how it relates to the behavioral regulation process? I hope I did the other questions right because I think I have answers for those I was just confused about a few of these.

so what

I have looked into the subject, SO WHAT!

Troubled Teens

The speaker was interesting and of course unexpected. He didn't look like anyone that people would normally think of as someone who helps youth but he is probably more qualified than a lot of other people. Chris told us of his experiences while helping youth but more importantly about his past. I think the fact that he went through similar things that the teens he works with go through helps him be able to relate to them. It is easy for young adults to listen to adults who know what they are talking about and have gone through these things than to listen to those who haven't experienced at all. I have a cousin that had a lot of trouble growing up, he had to go to a lot of centers to try and get help and nothing really ever got through to him until he actually had to do some time. If he had been a program like what Chris was talking about I think it might have helped him more.

Homelessness

Chris was a really fun and entertaining. He really seemed to love his job and I liked how he didn’t come in lecturing us because we do know a lot about homelessness. What was crazy to me was the amount of information I learned from him. I didn’t realize there was so many homeless people in Lincoln. I see the half dozen or more that are downtown at nights. But I never thought where do they sleep. I know some sleep outside the post and nickel sometimes because I’ve seen them but I was ignorant in the sense that I thought a lot of these people probably had a friends house to stay in at night or a shelter or even a car. But I find out that they don’t. They sleep in the open air, even in winter. One other thing I didn’t know is that we had many prostitutes in Lincoln. I had heard people say it but I thought it was just made up and Chris talked about numerous prostitutes that he helped. I really did enjoy listening to Chris, he told it how it is and was still fun to listen to. And I think we all learned something from him.

Chris

The speaker of Tuesday’s class is very kind person. His name is Chris. At the beginning of the class, I thought this speaker was a little strange. His arms are covered by tattoos; also he spoke so loudly and so quickly. He talked so much about his job: helping homeless, run-away and at-risk teens. He told us when he was young; he was such a troubled teen. Now he is eager to help the troubled youth. He loves his job and so passional about it. During his speech, I found that there is a large number of troubled youth. They need other people’s help. There is no doubt that Chris does his job well. He understands them and has passion to help them.

Chris and CEADERS

I have already heard Chris speak this semester. The first time it was interesting. I really did learn alot as a "rich, west O" kid. I have had many opportunities to see things in south Omaha, but seeing some of the places Chris visites and knowing they are right around the courner from here was a new different reality to me. Tuesday, I knew what Chris was going to talk about, but I had the opportunity to see his humor about himself and his job. I really see now what an amazing dedicated person he has to be to do his job every day.

Yesterday's speaker was really interesting. Chris was very passionate about his work, and that was very evident. Even though I've know about runaways and at-risk youth, I never realized the number was so high in Lincoln. It was just really interesting to see the real numbers for Lincoln and learn a few more facts. Some of the pictures were really disturbing, and some of the stories I could have gone without hearing, but I think it's important for people to hear and see them. I think that Chris was a really good speaker for us to hear to help us understand some of the issues that are occuring right here in Lincoln. It's even kind of scary to hear all of the statistics. I'm really glad that Chris came and talked to us about the CEDARS program and what he does.

Homelessness

The speaker we had on Tuesday was a little bit intimidating at first. He was so loud and kept yelling profanities it was slightly uncomfortable. He was interesting to listen to though because he had a lot of good stories and information that was different misconceptions most people have of troubled teens and homeless people. When he was showing us pictures of the people on meth and talking about it, it made me slightly nauseous because the pictures were gross and the things that people put into their bodies was disturbing. I never really thought that meth was as common as it was, but it makes sense that people who use it become addicted and start losing everything, ending up on the streets. By the end of the lecture he didn't seem as intimidating, and I actually learned a lot from his speech. 

Speaker

I have seen Chris before when he came to my high school. So, I had heard everything he said before, but I still found him entertaining. You can tell he truly loves what he does and he believes in what he is doing. His whole presentation was very informing. I think his job is very important and I'm glad there are people out there who find this type of job rewarding. Homeless, run-aways and at-risk teens need help, because obviously, they are in that situation for a reason. I think it's nice that he is willing to help them out. He has been in their situation somewhat, so I think he can get people to listen to him.

I thought today's class was really interesting. The speaker was really fun and energetic. The stuff he talked about was really intense but I'm glad he came to talk to our class about it. I didn't know half of the things that he talked about. I always knew that there were homeless people around but I had no idea to the extent that there are so many in Lincoln. It's really sad looking at all of the pictures of where they live all year round. It was sad hearing about the stories about the troubled kids or runaways. I had no idea that some kids were that badly involved with drugs and sex. I feel like I'm oblivious to a lot of things that go on in my everyday life. It was kind of nice to have a reality check about what's really going on.

Speaker

I loved today's speaker. I really liked how he didn't try to spell things out to us, he simply told it how it was. I think what he does is great. There are so many people out there that need help. I found it interesting that a lot of teenagers who get kicked out of their home don't call the cops. Situations like that I wish something more could be done. I learned a lot in a short period of time and it's definitely something I would like to consider doing myself.

Tuesday's Speaker

I'll admitt I was a bit shocked by the first impression of Tuesday's speaker. But as he spoke about his presentation I could tell that he was passionate about what he does for a living. Image is something that someone should never be judged by. The way he preached his feelings about the Cedars program made me realize he was extremely dedicated to helping others. He said that when he was younger he was a troubled teen and he takes his past mistakes and helps to inspire other troubled teenagers. I was pretty moved by his influential attitude towards the subject.
Anyways, on another note I'm pretty nervous for the final because I really want an A in this class and if I get an A on the test then I will have just made it. I've already begun to study and I plan to continue for the rest of the week. I like the essay questions this time around. Hopefully I can end this semester on a good note with a good grade!

abuse

After our discussion of domestic violence last week, I knew of someone who was arrested for beating his girlfriend. I was fairly surprised but thinking about it now, their relationship is based on sex, and they always argue. I don't think anyone knew that he beat her, but had always heard them arguing. It was really scary when my friend told me that he saw him getting arrested. The girls that I have talked to were also surprised but have said they are afraid to be around him even though they don't know him that well. I wonder how long they have been dating and how long he has been abusing her. I would never ask, just because I don't know them personally. I am glad someone called the cops though. 

Money

Money is very important for every family. Sometimes, I think it determines how happy a family is. Through the class, I found that I was wrong. Even though money indispensable, it does not mean family economy. There are four meanings of money: status, security, enjoyment, control. In my family, my parents pay more attention on enjoyment of money, but it does not mean that they do not save money. In order my education; they reduce their money for enjoying. This class also made me remind the family I have interviewed. They suffering the economic problem; they have to be conservative in spending. They always reach the agreement about how to spend money and be satisfied with decision on savings. Sometimes, money can cause problems, it is ineluctable. The most important thing is that how family to deal with this kind of problem.

Home Sweet Home

YAY! My parents finally moved back to Nebraska! I'm so excited that I get to go visit my parents on the weekends. And most importantly I get to spend the summer with my parents AND my friends. There was such a small chance that the military would send my dad back to Nebraska, but thankfully they did! They found our new home within a few days. They're pretty good at picking out houses after 23 years in the military. I love going into a new home and thinking about all the memories I'm going to make there. I've driven by my old homes before, but I didn't get the same feeling that I used to get. Because those houses, aren't my home. And...actually...this new home isn't my home either... My family is my home. No matter where they move and no matter where I move. They will always be home.

So our talk about a domestic abuse was really eye opening. Its something I have never experienced but I have really strong emotions against it and I think there should be harsh punishments for people who are physically violent and there should be places that people can go that are in abusive situation. I know there are places but I think they should be advertised more or something. After we watched the video in class of concrete angel I started thinking about the song Alyssa Lies so I got online and watched it. The video wasn’t as sad as the concrete Angel song but it was sort of neat how they made it. If you don’t know the song it is about a little girl that comes home mad because her friend Alyssa lies to everyone about her parents abusing her and the dad realizes he needs to do something about it so Monday he went to the school to tell the school about the abuse and when he gets there everyone is upset and he was too late. Alyssa had passed away. It is such a sad song. The video started out with a teacher telling his high school students to watch this video then write about it. Though the video it shows the kids reactions and thing and one girl gets up and leaves the room and goes to the hall way and is crying and her teacher comes out and talks to her and she is abused and decides to do something about it now. Also at the end it said that they really played this song in some schools and kids did realize that they should do something about the abuse they are dealing with. I like that they showed that all ages are dealing with domestic violence and all ages are hiding it

The Economy and Me

Tuesdays lecture was interesting because we got to hear feedback from classmates about how the economy is affecting their lifestyles. I don't enjoy talking in front of large groups of people so I figured I'd blog about how the economy is affecting me. I had a job at a sports bar and when they cut back the amount of hours and employees they were keeping on staff, I unfortunately got the cut. Lincoln being the college town that it is, jobs are pretty scarce. It took me four months to finally get hired at a new place of employment. I applied all over town and even called places back after a week because I hadn't heard a response from them. But I still wasn't having any luck. I feel a little better knowing I'm finally employed but it disappoints me that it took so long. I had to dip into the little savings that I had and I had to subscribe to two new credit cards just to get by. So the statistics about how many students have credit cards didn't suprise me because a lot of them were probably in my situation. I was only hired as a part-time time employee and this summer I really need a full-time position to help pay for my summer courses. I feel like the economy is demanding more money than what is available to me. I know I'm not the only college student struggling , I can't even begin to think about what graduating seniors are stressing about.

Socioeconomic Diversity

I found the Socioeconomic Diversity lecture very interesting. I thought that learning about the working poor very significant. I think that it is important to know the difference between the numbers of poor that are working and the numbers of working that are poor. I also never realized there were different meanings of money. I would say that my family mostly focuses on security. My parents want to make sure that we have enough money to live on and try to save money for the future. I have carried on this trait and I don't tend to spend a lot of money for enjoyment. I can also see where I like the control of money. I like to be able to support myself and not have to depend on someone else to take care of me. I try very hard to take care of my own finances and I rarely ask for help from my parents. Being in control of my finances helps me feel more independent and makes me feel like I have more control over my life. I think that my parents helped me to be like this because they are very focused on security and making sure that they have enough money to cover their bills. I'm very glad for my parents' influence over my life and my finances because I feel that they have made me more of an independent person.

Abuse and Economy

Abuse is a word that most people are afraid to say. It is a topic that is shunned and hidden. But unfortunately happens to so many people. Because it is not talked about people don't think it happens as often as it does. The statistics in class thursday were unsettling but very true. It is a reality that people need to accept and be active in making changes about.

The economy is no joke and is especially difficult for college students who have a hard enough time as it is with money. I know that with the recession I am looking toward the future and don't want student loans and debt looming over my head when I graduate and then have to look for jobs when there really aren't any. I had to make a financially sound decision and transfer to UNO for the fall semester and stay with my parents for a little while to be able to become more financially stable.

Domestic Abuse/Socioeconomic Diversity

Domestic violence is a bigger problem than people realize. I think it happens more than people know because so many people try to hide it. If it takes 7 times for someone to leave their abusive partner, then I'm sure it takes a lot more for them to tell someone what is happening. It's scary to think that it's happening to so many people. There has been a lot of awareness lately since the whole Chris Brown/Rihanna situation. Tyra Banks has had a lot of awareness lately with teens and their abusive relationships.

Talking about socioeconomic diversity in class the other day helped me realize that things are getting tougher these days. My mom does pay for a lot of things, but now I'm trying to transition into paying for more of my own stuff, especially now that I have my own checking account. Since my parents are in the middle of a divorce, we have had to go down to a one paycheck income from my mom. It's tough having just that one income with a 3-person family. If I want anything extra I have to pay for it. Sometimes it can be tough having to pay for extra things, and not having the money for it because I can't work full-time and be a full-time student.

Socioeconomic Diversity

Socioeconomic Diversity is a new term for me. I had to really think about what was being said at the time when I first heard the word, and as a working class poor person as many others who would like to come out of this condition; I am happy that I can pay my bills, this is the grace of God at best. I am not limited to a socioeconomic class, I am lifting myself up; I have returned back to college to finish my degree in the field of Family Science, and if I am faithful this self-fulfilling prophesy (education-knowledge is power) will happen and many other baby-boomers will return to school. As we did when the computer age came into play in the early 80's; we met that challenge and we adapted to that era. Now that we are being challenged to adapt to our childrens economic system I refuse to sit on my hands and not do anything.

Today's discussion in class was a little bit of reality check for me. I'm a freshman and my parents pay for the majority of the things i have and do but they wont be there forever. I'm just starting to transition into paying for my own things but it is difficult being in school and not having very much money. I have a feeling that it is only going to get worse too with the economy. My family has always had a good amount of money and we can do extra things like vacations pretty often but this year will be different. I have never seen my parents cut back on so many things as they are doing this year. A lot of things that I just thought were normal aren't really there anymore. I took a lot of things for granted but were still doing okay. I just think it's crazy how much the economy is affecting everyone everywhere. I really hope that things will eventually start to get better but I'm not really sure how this all works.

Money

Today's lecture was good. When it comes to money in this economy it's scary to think about. My dad hasn't been laid off of work yet but I know his hours are becoming shorter and shorter each week. I looked at my parents when we talked about the different meaning of money. I see that my parents kind of have a piece of each kind of means and it seems to be good for them. They know how to spend the right amount of money for enjoyment but they know to save some of their money back. When it comes to me on the other hand I tend to put a lot more of my money toward the enjoyment part but I make sure I have plenty for the security and control and I think I've learned that through my parents. I also saw how in the future when I get married I need to make sure to talk about our relationship financially so I can be happy like my parents. I think a lot of people over look the meaning of money.

Domestic Violence

The discussion on Thursday about domestic violence was really intense. I could not believe that it usually takes a person 7 attemps before they can leave someone for good. This shows how hard it would be to be in a domestic abusive relationship and the tough decisions that follow. The warning signs were also interesting. They seem so obvious, after we were talking about them, I was saying well duh. I was thinking about how easy it is to not notice or to block out the bad from a person you are in love with. You only see what you want to see or you think everything will change someday. It could happen to anyone. Love blindsides so many people, and is very easy to get caught up in. I felt Thursday was a super emotional day. I really enjoyed hearing about Dr. Holist's son. It broke my heart to hear what some kids have to live through. Dr. Holist and his family are very strong and I was very impressed by the entire story. I felt it was very moving. Also, the concrete angel video was very intense. It is such a sad song and video but holds so much truth. There are so many times that people just let things pass by them. The main thing I got out of the class last week was NEVER JUDGE! I am glad that this got put out so well, it is such an important point.

Domestic Abuse

I have a friend who is in a very interesting relationship. Her boyfriend is emotionally and verbally abusive. He has not resorted to violence yet, but does have a strong quick temper. When he does get angry, you can see the violence ge could bring to the others in the situation. She knows she needs to get out of the relationship and it has just become a comfort, but she still goes back to him everytime he apologizes. I dont want to see her get hurt, in any way, but its hard to watch her go back. I am really not looking forward to the phone call of come pick me up, he just hit me. She is unfortunitly not the type to just up and leave because she loves him. I have a hard time understanding why she would want to stay in a relationship that is abusive and not emotionally connected any more. I know at any point, no matter how much I love the other person, as soon as abuse starts happening, Im done with the relationship. I wish more girls would understand they dont need a guy and especially a guy who is abusive. Every girl deserves the best!

Domestic Violence

we hear about the domestic violence sporadically, I did not know it (domestic violence) was so high in America. traumatic as it is, there is hope. I have hope that the next child or woman is abused that there is someone there, or that they are strong enough to get some help.
YES! RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE.

Family Interview

The family interview is really an interesting assignment. I spent a lot of time on this assignment. Before I interviewed the family, I listed a lot of questions. During the entire interview, I tried my best to connect their situation to the knowledge I learned from the class. After interview, I listened the record of interview again and again, coordinated what I can use to write the paper. I listed the situations which I chose from the interview. At the beginning, I thought it is so difficult to write a 5 pages paper. I never write such a long English paper. Even though it is difficult for me, I tried my best to do it. When I finished it, I found it full of 5 pages. During I wrote the paper, I thought of all I learned from the class, especially the Strength Family Theory. It helped me to understand them better. This assignment is a good way to connect the theories to real life.

Family Interview

The family I interviewed was a premarital birth and duel earner family. I'm not sure if I did the paper right, but I'm hoping for at least a B. It was fun interviewing the family because I never took the time to notice how their family functioned. Now that I know more about their functioning I feel closer to them.

Family Interview

The family interview for me was somewhat difficult. I have known the girl since we were both really young, but it was just hard asking her and her boyfriend those questions, because as we've grown up, we haven't been as close. She recently had a baby so the family type I chose what the premarital pregnancy. Even though it was somewhat difficult for all of us to open up and have the conversation be normal, I think this interview assignment was good. I think it is something that helps us understand other family types and how they decide to structure their family.

Family Interviews

Family Interviews was somewhat hard. I felt like I didn't know where to start in my paper for it. I did realize what the family I interviewed was more like. The family was more like the symbolic interaction theory because the family interact well with their feelings by expresses with their words. Together they develop their type of roles I saw. I also observed them too because I really wanted to see them. The family was great as a whole.

Birthday Expectations

Since we didn't have class on Tuesday I'm going to blog about people's expectations on their birthday. I have a friend whose birthday happens to be this Saturday. I have piles of homework right now, I have to work all night, and I have sorority events during the day. She's upset that I can 't celebrate this event on her actual birth day. So the stubborn person she is, she decides to go home and do her birthday stuff on Friday night (the night I'm actually available) so she can sit down here on Saturday and do nothing??? That so does not make sense. I'm trying to persuade her to go home Saturday and celebrate with her family so that we can go out and do something Friday. But no. Instead, she wants to test our friendship to see what I'll really weed out of my day just to go to a party with her at night. I love her to death but I have a life, too. Sorority events are mandatory and I'm in desperate need of money so I can't call in or have someone work for me. I'm really not in the partying mood since finals are quickly approaching. I've offered to take her for coffee in the early morning or a late dinner because that's all I have time for but no, she would rather be a spoiled friend and not even take into consideration all that I'm dealing with. I guess all you can do is try and please them, all the while trying to please yourself, too.

family interview

The family interview was fun to do and learn about the family. I just wasn’t sure how it would go once I sat down to type it. I wasn’t sure if I had all the information I need to write a 5 pg paper. Once I got typing I realized it was flowing a lot better than I thought. I didn’t think I would get 5 pages but I easily did. I had to sort of cut myself off. I feel like I got to know the family I did a lot better and it was a really neat fun assignment.

Family Interview

I really enjoyed the family interview process. I did think it was hard starting the interview, but my interviewee opened up it was easier to go with the flow and ask questions. I interview someone who is a mother, widow, remarried, stepmother and stepgrandmother, she is now losing her husband to Alzhimer's. Her story was facinating to hear how her roles changed when her youngest daughter moved out then 6 months later losing her husband to cancer. It was also interesting to hear how supportive all her children where when she decided to remarry. When I first heard about the interview, I was dreading another homework assignment where we had to interview someone about personal matters. I really do think it has helped me understand the function and process behind families more!

Family Interview

I found the family interview somewhat difficult. It was hard to understand exactly what we were supposed to do, and I wasn't sure that I was doing it right. Although I understood how the family functions and processes things, it was still hard to explain it the way that he wanted it done, or how I thought he wanted it done. I did my best, and hopefully that will be enough. I hope I understood the way the Dr. Hollist wanted the paper done, and I hope that I explained the family functions and process appropriately. I found it hard to explain the dynamics of the family, especially when we had to keep the structure and content to a minimum. Hopefully I completed the assignment correctly, and will get a good grade on this assignment.

Interview

I really enjoyed the Family Interview assignment. It was nice to get to know a family friend's family. It was interesting to also try and dig deeper to understand the function of their family and not just the structure. I loved applying everything we have learned in class to the information I learned from them. I interviewed a family that had a premarital pregnancy and got to see how it interfered with their relationship and how they have grown from it. I was able to see the conflict theory work in them and see how they handled everything. Through the interview I was able to see all the things I have learned in the class.

Interview Paper

I read over the rubric for the interview assignment but I didn't feel like I got that great of understanding of exactly what the paper was supposed to consist of. I feel like it was difficult for my family to open up to me especially when the mother was the main mouth piece and she didn't want the family to seem anything but perfect. The questions didn't really help me because they were extremely extensive about private matters and if the family wasn't comfortable it was hard to get any information. But I feel like I did well on the paper, honestly I just did the best that I could.

I feel like I did pretty well on the family interview. It was really hard for me to get started and figure out what I was going to do. When I finally realized what family I would use I didnt know how to conduct the interview or write the paper. Eventually I wrote the paper but it was difficult for me because I just wanted to talk about the family's story and their lives. I really tried hard to incorporate things from class that delt with the family but it was a challenge. I spent a lot of time on it and I really hope that I do well on the paper. I think I learned a lot from this assignment. I realized how hard it can be to focus on the process and fuction of the family rather than the structure. The process is really the only thing that matters anyway but noone realizes that.

FAMILY INTERVIEW

I had been putting off the family interview for weeks. I felt I did not understand the purpose of the assignment and what we were suppose to be looking for. I was unsure how to notice the function. Finally over spring break I conducted my family interview. It was amazing. I got to know the family really well. It was very interesting to watch them interact because they are nothing like my family. I learned so much about function just from watching how they talk to each other and about each other. The most interesting part about it was noticing the different roles each member had in their family. During class I was thinking I was unsure if anyone in my family really had roles. After listening to this family talk with each other, it was very clear they each had a very set role. I really enjoyed this assignment. It was interesting and challenging. I learned so much from it. I was very disappointed we did not have class today, I was looking forward to discussing about family interviews with other students.

Family Interview

I have spent a lot of time with the family interview. Although, I have gotten to know the family I thought I knew better, this has really helped me to be able to do a written case report; witch I think is what the assignment was intended to teach. I really praise our instructor for such cleaver way of teaching.

natural consequences

A story I thought about after we talked about allowing natual consequences to be the teacher is when I was in 1st grade I think I went for a bike ride with my mom and she had been trying to talk me into taking my training wheels off but I am not the person to really try new things. I was scared so she just let me leave them on and we were riding around my home town and we go past this family and the little girl yells, “mom look at that big girl with training wheels!” I have always been tall for my age so I was only like 6-7 years old but I made my mom hurry home and I took my training wheels off right when I got home and learned to ride with out them. So my mom didn’t force me to take them off she let me decide when. And I look back now and think that story is funny and a great lesson too that kids don’t have to be told to do things they can learn on their own.

Childhood

I didn't really have much of a childhood. I kind of had to grow up fast because we had a lot of kids in our family and a lot going on so we all had to help out. But one thing that I do remember is that with some of my aunts and my sister and girl cousins we used to always hold a fashion show. We would go down to the Goodwill and just get a bunch of dresses and we would get dressed up and our aunts would do our make up and we would wear the clothes in front of our moms and dads. I even had old pictures from it. That was a memory I honestly hadn't thought about in years but it was one of the better memories I have from growing up.

Dressing up of children

I found that every child likes to dress up, girls like to dress up like a princess, and boys like to dress up like a gentleman. Dressing up of children is really a funny thing. When I was young, I always liked to dress up like my mother, dressed her high heel shoes and worn her blouse, also, I liked to worn my father’s glasses because it is looks like I am so smart. Maybe it is just because the children want to acting older than they are or acting as someone they want to be. I think, through observing children’s dressing up, parents can easily know what they like and what they think about. The style that children's dressing up is a good topic for communication between parents and young children.

Families with Young Children

My brother and his fiance recently had a baby girl. Before Sophia was born they liked to party a lot and buy lots of new things. It was so interesting to watch them completely change their lives around. Suddenly everything was about Sophia and what they were going to do to make her life better. I am so proud of them for finally growing up and taking on responsibilities.

Gender as a Child!

Wow, Tuesday's class really showed how much I was into adult play. I was never the princess, and I mean NEVER!!! I was always the teacher when playing school, crazy aunt in house or the house hold pet. I always liked being able to do what I wanted, especially since I was very independent as a child. I knew play was a good way to interact with other children and show personality, but I didnt realize to the affect it had on how I interact with people still today. I'm the "adult" you see rolling around on the floor with the younger kids or the one who always offers to supervise, its always more fun then being in the adult world. I guess this wanting to play came from my parents. They were huge on the play time. We lived in Omaha and my Dad commuted to Lincoln for work every day. This made a very long day for him and my mom, who was stuck with us all day. As kids, we knew dad came home at 7, we ate dinner, he read the paper as we did our after dinner chores and by the time we were finished it was play time. We played hard core, since we are all very competitive for about an hour then it was bed time. I still like that after dinner time. I know my 11 year old brother enjoys it more when the two of us in college are home. He is just as competitive as we are, and I dont think he really remembers me living at home full time. It will be interesting how Eric and I interact with him this summer. I'm going to be working full time and taking classes, Eric will be home working full time and its his first summer home from school, and this year Trevor is on a select baseball team. Interactions with him and play are going to look a little different!

It though Tuesdays class was great. I have a lot of younger cousins that I babysit a lot. It was interesting to apply what I learned that day to what I already had observed. You would think playing was just playing and there was nothing more to it. But play actually means a lot of things. Play is the biggest form of communication for small children. After we discussed this, it made a lot of sense. Most kids can not communicate emotions, feelings, or just have a hard time getting through to what they ware trying to say. Play is the easiest way to let someone know how they feel. They may not do this intentionally but this is how it works out. I find this is true a lot with my little girl cousins. We play barbies a lot, it seems that whatever is on their little minds for the day, is the subject of the day. If they are mad they don't get to go to the zoo, that is what is happening in barbie land too. Another thing I though was really interesting was that shoes are the most common dress up accessory. I guess this is not so surprising since they are so accessible and large shoes relate to large people. This is really neat to think of the symbol that is being created of "growing into someones shoes" and wanting to be just like them. It made me think of the the play/dress up shoes I had and how much I like to wear them and why. Tuesdays class was very fun and interesting to me, I really enjoy applying what I learn in class outside the classroom every day.

Tuesday's lecture was very interesting. Since I babysit all the time, it's good to know about child's play. I babysit a 1 year old every Monday, and her parents told me that she can be very clingy sometimes, but other times she likes to play by herself. Since we don't know each other very well yet (Monday was my first day watching her), when she started getting fussy I wasn't exactly sure what she wanted. Once I get to know her a little more I will be able to tell what she needs right away, it just takes time!

I think it's fascinating how a child's play can determine so much about them. But now that I think about it, when I was little all I liked to play was with dolls and playing house with friends. To this day, my dream job is to be a stay at home mom with a family. If that doesn't happen, the next closest thing for me is to own a daycare. I have always liked playing house and dolls, so I think that said a lot for who I am now.

Parenting

I enjoyed listening to Tuesdays lecture. It was really interactive and it was nice to hear everyone's input on the topic. It really made me think about once I have children. I guess I'm a little old fashioned when it comes to raising kids. I think the way I was raised was not too strict, but it was strict enough to where I would never act up infront of my parents. I never really thought about having to split my thoughts and feelings with another person. If my significant other diagrees with a way I handle a certain situation I'm not sure how I would handle that. I'm not a very lenient person. I believe in practicing in what I preach and having some who doesn't believe in something I do may cause some difficulites. I suppose once I get married and actually have children my thoughts will change a little. 10 years from now things could be extremely different. Also, the city that I choose to live in will play a huge part in how I raise my children. I thought it was very interesting hearing about the different things you can learn just from watching kids. They actually can teach us a lot and its cool to learn how to read their actions. The main thing I learned from class was to really think and analyze the problem before reacting to your children. (This blog relates to class because it talks about everything we mentioned during lecture)

Genders..

I loved the lecture today. My mom is a daycare provider so I get my share of stories and play time and dress up time with all the kids when I come home. I know for a fact I will pay more attention when I play and watch them play next time. I do know I've noticed several times the way it makes a form of communication for them though. A time I remember because it was the most recent would be over spring break. One of my favorite little boys, because I watch him in the summer and his mother is my boss, dressed up in a dress with all the other little girls. I asked him what he was doing and he said he was sissy. I could it was easy to tell he looked up to his sissy who was also dressed up in a dress. It's just funny to know that the different genders doesn't matter they look up to each other no matter what. A question I wanted to ask in class was the communication between different genders. I remember when I was little at recess the boys would play tractors and the girls weren't allowed. It's like the boys know their roles and we were suppose to go play barbies or house because that's what girls do. Watching kids understand gender roles is very interesting.

yeah I didn't think the test was that bad either. There were a few questions that I really didn't understand but sometimes its hard for me to think in the context that the questions are being asked. I was so happy that we got the essay question that we did because I thought I knew the most about the conflict section than any other section. The conflict section just made sense to me. I feel like I have had a lot of experience in that area and it wasn't hard to relate at all to what we were talking about. I'm really excited to start talking about families and kids. I absolutely love kids. I really like the process of families and how they deal with their kids' issues. I'm excited to learn more about this topic. I hope that it can give me some tips on parenting someday.

Test and Conflict

I didn't think that the test was that bad although I did have some difficulty on some of the questions. I always blank on the fill in the blank questions but I think i answered them correctly after some thought. The first essay queston from off of the possible questions made no sense to me. I don't remember every going through a chart like that. I remember when students went up to the board and charted the fights and resolutions but the one from the essays didn't look like that so I am very happy that we didn't get that question. My favorite part of the test lectures during this section was probably the conflict resolution. I am an intense fighter and am the type of person that feels like they are always right so learning how to compromise and look at a situation from someone else's view is something new.

Prom :(

I have a dilemna. So this guy from my work likes me, and I don't like him. He's nice and all but I don't think we are that compatible and he is in high school. I do not want to date a person in high school. Before I knew he liked me, he asked me to prom, and I am too nice of a person to say no. Also I don't think I am ready to date anyone, and if I did, it would disrupt the homestasis of the relationship. I will still go, and have a good time, but I don't want to give them the idea that I am interested beyond friends. Hopefully everything will work out. 

Now that we've learned about conflict resolution, my fiance and I have fixed a few things. We fight EVERY TIME we get in the car. We hardly ever fight in other situations, but when we get in the car, its guaranteed that we'll fight. After listening to the lecture about conflict resolution we've been able to figure out WHY we were fighting and how we can work through it.

Dance of Anger

Conflict is like a dance in Lenner’s opinion. It is so visual. There are five style in Lernner’s dance: pursuers, underfunctioners, overfunctioners, distancers, blamer. These styles describe the conflict very vividly. When underfunctioner just keep silence, overfunctioner may need to control the conflict. When distancers go out of conflict, pursuer mayl pursue them. Even though it is a little difficult to understand just look at these words, it is better to know it in the real situation. In addition, there are other interactional cycles, these cycles are not the process of arguing, but the things that occur during arguing. To understand stand Lenner’s style of dance is helpful to understand how to resolute the conlicts.

The TEST

Well, what I can I say about the test on Tuesday? It was somewhat hard but as I got to certain questions I understood better. I hope in the future it will get better. Like for the final and any other last test we have. I still don't know what I got on the test but I hope it was good. I'm even scared to look at it! Well I hope for the best next time and may God be with me.

Conflict Resolution

I use conflict resolution in my day to day work. It become part of my life over the past 2 years, ever since I became an RA. I do use this in my day to day matters, but it has become more of a job thing! I have learned to stay level headed and come down very quickly from a conflict, especially when its coming from huge drunk football players! I look back at how intimidating and weird those situations where and laugh about them now. I have even had great conversations with this guys since the craziness when done. It has been an interesting job and I know it will come in usefull in my life down the road!

I thought Exam 2 was more difficult than exam 1. The hardest part was the fill in the blank section at the end of the multiple choice questions. The fill in the blank questions were the most challenging part. Besides those questions it was about the same level or difficulty as exam 1. I enjoyed the essay question more on this exam than the first one. It was easier to write about and I felt more prepared. I never missed class and that also helped a lot with the essay question, there we so many points I remembered from class and were able to expand on them.

I have really been enjoying our classes on conflict resolution. I find them very interesting and helpful. I believe that that is something I will take out of this class and remember forever. It does not matter how bad your fights are as long as you get it completely resolved each time. That is something I will take out of class and already have tried to apply it to my life, so make my relationships with others as best as they can possibly be.

The last couple of lectures about conflict resolution and been interesting and helpful in dealing with conflicts that arise. I normally tried to avoid conflict at all costs, but after learning more about confict resolution, I realize that avoidance is not a good option during a conflict. I should try to deal with the conflict, and focus more on the process of dealing with the conflict rather than the actual content. It's just really interesting for me to see how I deal with situations and how others deal with the same situation and what the healthy way to deal with the situation is. Thinking about others during a conflict helps resolve the conflict because you aren't so focused on yourself and can really think about the big picture and not just minor details. I think that learning about conflict resolution is helpful not just for marriage, but in all relationships that you have throughout your life.

Test 2

I thought test number 2 was way harder than the first exam. I did not like the way 3 of the 4 fill in the blank questions were about conflict resolution because I had to miss the class right before the test and there should not have been so many questions referring to just one lecture. I read every single chapter that was assigned and there wasn't a whole lot about conflict resolution. So when we were asked "what is the most important characteristic about conflict resolution" I didn't know what to say. I had a very good explanation for my essay question but for some reason I feel like the only way I could fully answer the question correctly would be if I made reference to that question. (which I didn't) I really hope that the extra credit readings will be posted on blackboard because I couldnt really use ten extra credit points. Or maybe some other opportunities for extra credit could be presented. I really enjoy this class because it's interesting and I've only missed a total of two classes so it's hard for me to accept that I did bad on the tests when I study and attend class. I just don't get it. I guess you just never know what to expect when it comes to exams.

single life,what's that?

After being with one woman for 30 years, I can not even begin to think what it would be like to be single again. Of course my adult children try to make me feel old because their mom and I don't get out as much on the town as our children and their "single" friends; movies and going out to dinner is much more fun at home, I think. So lets be honest, which is better the single life where you spend all your money and then ask mom and dad for gas on Monday because you spent all your money over the weekend, where you got know love or money, and you are beginning to look for a new lover allover again; I know, I'm just old. single life, what's that?

Recent Classes

I've really enjoyed the last couple of classes we've had. The lessons have been good, and the conversations we've had in class are really interesting. I think it's good to have a class about this and learn about these kinds of things before we get married and start a family. I believe it can make a huge difference when it comes to communicating with your partner.

I've learned a lot these past couple weeks than I have since this class first started. The best thing I've learned in the past couple weeks is that it's not how much you fight or how heated those arguments can get--it's how fast you can get over those arguments and move on. I think arguing some in a relationship can make it stronger if you work it out.

Talking about conflict has really interested me. Plus knowing yourself how to resolve and deal with conflicts is great information to remember. So many people think that it's what your fighting over that matters but it really makes sense that it isn't. The way you fight will always be the same no matter what the conflict is over so focusing on fixing that would obviously be the best way to make your relationship healthier. The information about watching how you deal with the conflict will really help me when i deal with friends who are in a fights with their partner and like to vent to me. I will know what to say to them and how to help them move on and make their relationships stronger.

I'd have to agree with your feelings on conflict. I sometimes feel like I can make it worse or even cause it sometimes. It's totally unintentional but it's really easy to just put the blame on someone else when you don't feel like taking the heat for something you did. When I think about some of the fights I've gotten in with people I really feel bad because in some of them I didn't do anything to help it, just make it worse. The things that I am learning in this class can really help me in my life. I am hoping that the next time I get into an arguement with someone I will try and remember the skills I've learned in class to help resolve the conflict rather than focus on the content of it.

conflict resolution

After we had the class on Thursday about conflict resolution I began too think more and more about what I do when I fight with the person I’m dating/living with and I do things I shouldn’t do. I never noticed that I seem to sort of make things worse sometimes. Like I try to blame them and I sometimes cant admit what I did wrong. We got in a small agreement the other day and to be honest I’m not sure now what it was even about but I was going to blame her and I caught myself and I tried to see their side and I took blame for what I did too! It actually seemed to catch her off guard because it was different than the way we usually fight. Like usually I seem to point out her faults too then we both say sorry in the end and everything is fine. We never really get in big fights and we always resolve the fight within a short period of time. I use to be the person who avoided conflict and wouldn’t talk about what was wrong and nothing would get resolved when there was a fight. I would run from the problem. I would leave the situation and then not talk about it later. I have gotten so much better and I always want to talk it though and figure it out and now I know how to resolve the conflicts in a better way.

Content vs. Process

I don't know if after thirty years of marriage if I have become a stone-Waller or a verbal bomber. Many of us who have been married would even think of airing the dirty laundry that we produce in our marriages; my parent made it look as if marriage had no problems at all.
therefor as a husband I had to learn how to defend and process without any knowledge how to make my love relationship work, even if I did not get what I wanted. My brothers and sisters look at me with contempt because I am passive to my wife right; well they (my bro. and sis.) have all been in several marriages but me only one, when I stone wall I go to the garage and work on a project and laugh and giggle about what my wife and I disagreed about; I have been caught a few times, and when I do get caught I always throw that verbal bomb like "your crazy" or "you must think I am stooped", my wife feels some guilt and accept some responsibility and I later apologize for making her feel sad, then we go to dinner at a nice restaurant or we do something we can not afford and were back to where we were, OH! except the love-making part in between.

not feeling so good...

I'm not feeling so good but I still wanted to make a blog just in time. I feel very upset that I'm not going to make to class today and if anyone has the notes for it please feel free to email them to me or something...jalesajohnson@ymail.com. I enjoyed lat class about the talk about marriage and I understand a lot more about who has authority and who doesn't. I hope to learn better throughout the rest of the semester.

Power & Decisions

Tuesday’s class was about the power and decisions. Making decisions is a very important aspect of a family life. When I was young, my family was a traditional family. My mother was a teacher; she paid more attention on my education and the housework. So when we make decisions about our family, my mother has the power because of her information influence. Most of the time, my parents have referent influence; they respect and love each other. My parents always made decisions on me, maybe they use the legitimate influence. They can find so many reasons to reject my decisions. They think they have enough experiences and know more than I do, especially about the social life. Now, the relationship of my parents is not very well, but they still have my power to maintain. However, when I decided to study abroad, they sustained me a lot. This is the first time I feel that I have so much power in my family. I do not know why, but since that time my parents already treated me as an adult more than their child. Now I am studying abroad, I made the most decisions of myself.

Making Decisions

My parents always tried to make it seem like they had equal power in making decisions. I knew from a young age however, that my dad was the one with the final say. If I was asking my mother if I could go to a concert or stay over at a friends house, she always told me she would have to talk to my dad first. At some point I just stopped asking her and went straight to my dad for requests.

Decisions in Marriage

I have noticed that in my family contrary to what history says about the man being the head and making most of the decisions my mother makes most of the big decisions in the family. My dad is rather passive and usually always tells us to go to her for answers. But lately since their marriage issues have started catching up with them my father is taking a more dominant role which has lead to a lot of arguments. It seems like they are fighting for control of the family. I also think that it might include race. My mom is black and my dad is white but my father is very interested in other cultures and I think finds himself more acculmated to them than to his own culture. My mother is very firm in her culture and from this strong sense of self-identity she has grown a very dominant and strong personality that leads her to want to be in charge.

Spring Break and Power

Over spring break, I had this wonderful power struggle with my parents. I live on my own when Im off at school, but I have to live by my parents rules when Im home. When I was growing up, my parents made all the decisions together. Even now, I see them doing that for my 11 year old brother. Everything has to be run past both parents before they could talk about it and decide on an answer. Even the simplest things, such as a sleep over, was a big decision! Now, Im almost out of college, in a serious relationship and looking in the job market, I have my own ideas about what I want to do and when. When Im at home, I have to completely rethink everything I want to do! I do understand they want me to grow up and live my own life, but in some ways I think they like me being there little girl. Im ready to make my decisions about my life, but my parents still want to have "their hands in the cookie jar" persay. I understand they want me to keep them as an influential part of my life, but I think its about time for them to turn the power over to me and let me completely make my own mistakes!

Division of Power

Tuesday's lecture was very informative about the different divisions of power. Because my parents are divorced, and have been since I was a baby, I have lived the majority of the time with my mom, so she makes most of the decisions and has the power. On the other hand, since my mom remarried, my stepdad also plays a part in the decision making process. Usually, my mom and stepdad talk about everything together before making a decision. They rarely make a decision alone and have to confer and discuss every little thing. It used to get really annoying when I was younger and couldn't just get a straight answer out of either of them. I had to give them ample time to discuss the matter, and then wait for their decision. As I've grown older, I understand more about the process of their decision making, and yesterday's class really reinforced for me how important my mom and stepdad's relationship is. I understand that they both value and respect each others' opinions and that's why they talk about things so much.

Making Choices

Tuesdays class on decisions in marriage. It really made me think about how my parents made decisions and why my family functioned that way. It was interesting how different every one's parents made decisions in there family. When I first heard the topic, I really didn't think there could be that many different ways to make decisions, but the more we learned the more I began to understand how it is possible. It all depends on the type of people you are. it depends on how aggressive or assertive you are. You can be aggressive and assertive without even raising your voice. Besides thinking about how my parents make decisions, it made me take a closer look at how I make decisions every day with the people around me. It is interesting how the function of the decision making changes when I am different people. I don't even know it, but with some people I am more assertive than with other. This class on decision making in something I will keep in mind for the future especially when I am getting married. There are a lot of decisions to be made, what kind of decision making pattern we fall in to will be interesting.

Who has the power??

I guess I've always seen my mom as the one who has the power. Yes, people say the man of the house is supposed to have the power, but for a long time now, I've always gone to my mom. It's been a long time since I've had a good relationship with my dad, so for the past few years I haven't gone to him to ask him to do something. I have always gone to my mom for as long as I can remember. I knew most of the time what her answer would be if I wanted to do something. I think I've seen her with the power because she was the one who has always had a steady job, paid all the bills, and took care of us as a family. My dad has had soo many jobs in my life that I can't even count them. For the past year and a half or so when he was sneaking around, he didn't really have any power because he seemed to never be home. I never went to him to ask if I could do something if my mom wasn't home, I just did it.

I think it's great that every family is different when it comes to finding a way to manage power, but I think it needs to be split evenly, and not have one person be in complete power.

power

So after Tuesdays class I got to thinking about how my parents divided power and it was kind of hard for me to really remember because my parents have been divorced since I was in 2nd grade. But if I wouldn’t have had this class I would’ve thought my dad had most of the power but I think it was more my mom. If it had to do with discipline my dad was better than my mom but for power I think my mom had more. She made more money and was a strong woman and what she said went, when it came to her and dad. Then once they were divorced my dad didn’t really have much say in how we were raised or anything. The only time I got in trouble by both my mom and dad was in high school and I got caught drinking and when I got up the next day I knew my mom was going to have a talk with me but I had no idea she called dad and he was there too. So in that instance they ended up sharing power and it worked because I knew this was serious and they were both really mad.

Yesterday's lecture was pretty interesting about the divisions of power. I had never really thought about how the power was shared in my family. My parents make a lot of decisions together but there were definitely some differences of who to go to for what. My mom was always the one who made all the decisions about the daily activities. She got to decide when we got to go to our friend's houses or what we could do on the weekends. My dad would make the bigger decisions like when our family would go places together. Both my mom and dad would decide the most important decisions together like what we did as a family for vacation or other activities. I think they had a pretty good way of dividing up the power. Neither my mom nor my dad were overpowering at all when I was growing up. They both respected each other's opinions and tried their best to decide things together. I hope that when I have a family, my husband and I will be able to share the power like my parents did.

Parents..

Today in class when we talked about the power and decisions it made me really think about my parents. The 6 sources of influence were really easy to understand. Of the 6 influences I see the referent influence in my parents. A lot of their decisions are made together and are made with respect and love. Of course they have their moments where they use the information or expert influences. Either way usually they make the decision of the one that knows what is best because they are the expert or know the right information. They rarely use the authority influence in those situations because they both end up coming to the fact they respect and love the other person and would never make them choose a decision that might make the other person upset. Often a lot of their decisions are about me and my siblings. When we ask to do something or if we can have something or anything they won't say yes or no until they talk to the other one. To me it's annoying that I can't get an answer right away but at the same time I've learned through this class it makes sense why they want to wait to make those decisions with my other parent. They know that they work as a team when it comes to us and they want to talk things through with the other one first.

Power and Decisions

Today's lecture was actually pretty interesting. A lot of the information came to me as common sense but when we started talking about the 6 sources of influence my knowledge began to broaden. I never really looked at certain situations with that particular outcome in mind. I loved how with every principle there were great examples given to support the influence. I actually understood everything to a pretty good extent. I also liked how we watched the movie clip from "The Family Man" because it really made me realize how people use these 6 influences without even realizing it. The process was taught very well today and in my opinion a good teacher is a teacher who teaches you something that makes sense when you learn it. For instance when a test is coming up a student should feel confident in the material they learned to only glance over their notes for the exam.

(This all relates to class cause it's exactly what we talked about today and I related it to myself by explaining that I absorbed the information great for the upcoming exam.)

Communication

Communication is very significant in people’s lives. The process of transmitting can be feelings, attitudes, beliefs, ideas. We can use verbal as well as nonverbal to communicate. In addition, through the class，I knew that the communication of male and female is different. Different culture has different style of communication. I experience it deeply. I met so many people from different countries during I stayed in the USA. We communicated in different ways. Even though we say the same language, we still have different style to communicate. For example, people in south of China always speak slower than the people in north of China. Sometimes, when I heard a person who comes from the north of China spoke very quickly, I thought if he or she was so busy and did not have time to communicate with me. In my family, we can communicate easily, but my parents do not share everything with me, especially bad things. They always share with me their good feelings. I do not think it is good for me. I hope my parents could not treat me just as a child anymore.

Spring Break

I'm so excited to go home for spring break!!! There's been so much drama in my group of friends lately....I can't wait to get away from it all. Being away from them is hard. I miss my mother so much. I wish we would talk more. Even with all the technology available for communication, its still not the same as seeing her in person. Having a relationship with her is important to me, so I'm trying to make a "phone relationship" work. The good news is that my parents are moving back to Nebraska in April!!! I can't wait for my parents to only be 45 minutes away rather than half the country away.

Communication

I was recently at a party and I was being the "sober friend" for the night. I was able to listen in on conversations and observe the behavior of my surrounding settings because I wasn't partying like usual. As I participated in a conversation with some of my girlfriends I couldn't help but notice another group of girls in the corner giving me and my friends the "evil eye" and conversing amongst themselves. I tuned out my friends to try and listen in on what these girls were chatting about. They were bashing on an outfit that one of my friends was wearing. Another, was talking about Mandy and how she was supposedly flirting with a guy she liked and as a group they acted as if they were higher up on the todum pole than us. I then began listening to my friends conversation and noticed they were bashing on the same group of girls that were talking about them. Neither of them were aware that they were being labeled AND gossiped about. Both groups were guilty of being drama-filled gossip queens. Girls are so mean to each other. One group made assumptions about another group and at the same time as one group feels authority over the other, they are actually being equally talked about at the same time. Girls are so catty, selfish, and in opinion jealous of every other girl. Why do they do it? To make themselves feel better when something they consider a threat walks into their territory.

This doesn't necessarily relate to a particular topic in class but after lecture on Tuesday and communication between couples I began to notice that it's not just communication between couples it's miscommunication between strangers/friends. Body language, tone of voice, verbal and non verbal communication can be mis read ALL the time between different people, genders or race. (but in my opinion the biggest is girls)

Communications...is the key!

I always believe that communication is the key in ALL relationships! Doesn't matter if it's relationships between friends or even girlfriends and boyfriends. In class we talked about communication. Communication is the key to intimacy and family interaction. Without good communication relationships will fail. You have to be willing to communicate with people to have a positive relationship with them. It's so many things that have to do with communication like the cultural differences. I didn't think it really mattered in different cultures or type of people. So remember people without communication...you have nothing.

Communication and relationships

Communication with male and female is very different. I have found this out the hard way. Many time I have expected things from the males in my life and didnt get what I wanted. Looking back, I see I illuded to what I wanted from them, but never flat out told them. I forget people cant read minds and we all have our own ways of misinterpreting things. I know communication is very important to a strong relationship. With my best friend, we are not the best at communicating with each other. We go to different schools, have different majors, different friends and live in different cities. Its not always easy to relate to each other and give feedback on our lives. We have come up, very unintentionally, with a great way of communicating with each other. We call it the blab listen friendship. Since our lives have gone in such different directions, we have found it easiest to let one person talk until they have nothing left to talk about, then the other person can talk. We really dont say much to each other, its just mainly a listening friendship. I really do think this is probably the best friendship I have ever had and it weird to know we really dont have that much in common anymore!

Professor Hollist

For my entire life I have wanted to be a pediatrician. I've worked towads this goal in school for years and I am now in Organic chemistry and it is by far the hardest class I have ever taken. It has made me doubt myself and wonder if my grades and work will be enough to get me into med school. My passion for the field is dying out but after taking this class and seeing some of the work that Professor Hollist does it has made me very interested in the child therapist field. His way of teaching is very effective, I don't think that I have ever felt more comfortable participating in class and more interested in a subject. I think I might of found a better profession for myself simply by taking this class.

Communication

Communication is very critical to relationships. I think that it's important to have relationships with both males and females because of the different ways that they communicate. I believe that people need the different ways that males and females communicate. People can learn different ways of dealing with situations based on which gender they talk to, and I think it's important for people to get a variety of opinions. It is interesting to see how the different genders communicate and ways that they deal with situations. I think it is important that genders communicate differently because we need a variety of ways to deal with situations and get throught problems. As was already mentioned, life would be very boring if everyone communicated in the same way and handled problems and situations in the same way. I really think that, even though the differences in communication are sometimes frustrating, it's very important that there are differences.

I really enjoyed class yesterday. Topic of the day was communication. It was espcially interesting to hear about the differences between men and women. You can tell from a young age how boys and girls are taught to communicate with eachother and their peers. It is interesting what is socially acceptable for communication levels. Right away from the toys kids play with they learn about communication. Girls are given dolls and barbies. They are told to be nice and play nice. They are taught to be very social. This is setting them up for a lifetime of communication. On the other hand, little boys are given actions toys. Examples are action figures, toy guns, blocks, and models. This teaches them to solve problems and take action. Women talk more about emotions and try to relate everything together, while men are problem solvers. It would not be soically acceptable if men spoke more about emotions etc., or would it. We were talking in class about how different men and women communicate, then someone brought up an thought probing question. The question was, if we like how separatly men and women communicate. I have been thinking about this all day. It would be nice to have men communicate like women but I don't think it would create more unity in the world. I believe it would cause more problems. It is like the saying, if everyone was the same the world would be boring. This was one of my favorite class dissucsions so far. I really enjoyed talking about communication and the differences between men and women communication.

Today in class we discussed some of the differences between men and women. It was really interesting cause a lot of it I feel like I knew but I just seemed to have forgotten. The part about men having 'solution oriented' personalities and women having 'connection oriented' personalities is so true, well at least in my life. My boyfriend and I get in so many arguments because of this reason along. Its kind of funny now that I think about it because it is so common sense. The sad thing is that a lot of the stereotypes that most people have about men or women are pretty true to my life. I feel like I am a typical girl who cares way too much about her emotions and I'm dating a guy who can't stand emotional things and just likes to get right to the point. I just find this kind of funny from my point of view but I guess there are a lot of people out there who all have different ways of dealing with things.

content VS process -

Have you ever heard you never get too old to learn?

Just going through the motions of relationships is what most people do. Of course they do this as routine, or habit. The truth is they really just don't know any better.

Getting into heated discussions, arguments, battles, whatever you call them, the process is what needs attention, not what is said. All too often we get lost in what has been said or what we would like to say, lost in symantics. There have been times when I just wanted to get in the last word.

O.K. let me admit it; process is how we resolve our issues. I am trying to learn how all of this works together. But don't tell my wife, I am just not ready to give in unless I get the last word in to prove I am right.

So in today's discussion we talked about how the different systems of the family communicate different with each other. When we talked about how the two people having the conversation get upset with one another because they aren't listening I thought of my dad and my brother. I think that people that have similar personalities it makes communication more challenging. My dad has a tendency to be stubborn and my brother has the same problem so when they get into arguments it's hard for them to settle on anything. They both blame the other for not listening or being to demanding. I saw how the principle of communication failures rest with both people when I think of my dad and my brother. They need to understand that they are acting so much a like that it is difficult to settle anything. They need to take the time and communicate with each other and that consists of listening to the other person's point of view.

Mate Selection

In Tuesday’s class, everything I listened is very fresh. I thought that the people who are playing games kind of dating are so stupid before I took this class. People couldn’t know each other very well just by playing games. Through this class, I knew that there are two different types of the game: constructive and destructive. Some games have good purpose and can lead good outcomes. In addition, I have never heard that there are such kinds of test that available before people get married, such as FOCCUS and RELATE. The premarital tests can help those couples to facilitate communication and evoke thoughts and emotions. If every couple takes these kind of tests before they get married, would they not easily get divorced in the future? Hopefully it is. One of my friends has engaged, after this class I recommended him to take premarital tests with his fiancée, but he thought it is kind of meaningless. I really hope these premarital inventories can be publicly to be known.

Single Parent Adoption

My aunt is 38 years old, she's never been married or really had a serious relationship. She's tried internet dating sites and church singles gatherings, but she's never found the one I guess. She recently adopted a beautiful baby girl from Guatemala. She went through so much to get that baby. Its really hard for a single woman to get approval for adoption. There were days when she was pretty sure she'd never get to see the little girl she wanted to take care of. Its really sad how hard it was for her to get Eliana. My aunt is perfectly capable of taking care of that baby and the agencies were very against letting her adopt.
Thankfully Eliana is now part of our family. She's now my youngest cousin out of 43 cousins.

single life

When we talked about single life it made me think about my friend who is 31 and single. She has never really had a serious relationship and I think its because she isn’t single by choice. She is one of those people that you feel bad for because she always talks about how she is single and how much her life sucks. She is a workaholic and has always been like that. She has older values like no sex before marriage and pretty much always does that right thing. I’ve tried setting her up with people but it never works, I think its not that the people aren’t right for her I think she just needs to be happy with herself or she will never find someone. But I really don’t know what to say to her to her help so I guess I hope things just get better.

Foccus!

I have many friends getting married in the Catholic Church in the near future. Each couple has their own opinion on the Foccus premarital test. From listening to them, they sound like its a pointless, meaning less, unaffective waist of time. I also have an Aunt and Uncle who work with engaged couples and administer the test. They have alway been excited to talk to the couple about the results of the test. I have never realized really how much of a big deal it is in the Catholic Church to take this test, but it is something you have to do before you can get married. I think its a good idea and I would be very interested in seeing how things would turn out. I know Im not going to be taking this test anytime soon, but when the day comes....Im going to be excited and interested, not thinking its a waist of time.

"The Bachelor" Reaction

I know many people watched "The Bachelor" this season, and I will admit that yes I did too. I have heard of many people's disgust, and I will also say that I am right there with them. Going on the show in the first place is to find their mate. I think it is very hard to find love in that situation, and to my knowledge there has only been one couple to make it work successfully. But I must say that I was rooting for Melissa from the very beginning. I liked her as a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader, and so it was no different on The Bachelor. I have to say that I was very happy he chose her in the end, but during "After the Final Rose," I though Jason was horrible. I couldn't believe that after all the hurt he has been through, that he could turn around and do the same exact thing to someone else. I guess I have to admit that it was better for him to break it off before they went any further and actually got married but for him to make a decision when he wasn't actually ready to say "I am only in love with one woman and I want to spend the rest of my life with her." He admited to falling in love with both Molly and Melissa, but for him to not even fight for a life with Melissa is just a little heartless. And poor Ty. I mean, that kid was introduced to Deanna last season, and then spent time with both Melissa and Molly this season. He seemed to really like Melissa from the start, and was a little hesitant with Molly. I feel bad for him because he had gotten to know Melissa because her and Jason had spent so much time together after the show, and now he has to lose someone he had gotten to know for Molly, who don't get me wrong, may be a great woman, but he will have to get to know her now too. I guess I'm just disgusted in the fact that Jason went from breaking it off with Melissa to kissing Molly within the next 10 minutes. It was just a little wrong in my book.

Going on The Bachelor is definately a different way of finding a mate!

Mate Selection

I found yesterday's class extremely interesting. I had never sat down and thought of how people choose each other to spend the rest of their lives together. It is a very big step and a lot of thought goes into it, or sometimes as we talked about it in class, no much. I had never heard of these test you can take before you get married, such as RELATE and The Prepare, or FOCCUS. They are not very well publicly known I feel. After I heard about them in class I went online to see it was well known. There are tons of websites online that have these kinds of tests. It is fantastic. It sounds like they would help at all, because you think you know someone, but you may forget to talk about little things. Dr. Hollist mentioned in class about a couple who one person wanted to have six kids and the other wanted one. It is amazing that such things can get pasted by. This is why I think these test are well worth the time and money.
I also that it was very interesting how much people who are dating play games. When you are in a relationship and playing games, you do not always realize what you are doing. It was funny to talk about them in class and talk about the reasons why people play games when they are in relationships. There are two different types of games; destructive and constructive. This sort of surprised me. Playing games with peoples heads always sounds destructive to me, but I learned that some games have good intentions and can have good outcomes. I really enjoyed this class disscussion and look forward to more in the furture.

Yesterday's class discussion was very interesting. I never realized there were so many different types of inventories and helpful questionnaires available to people that are thinking about getting married. I think that these inventories are very helpful to couples to determine what areas they really need to discuss before they rush in to something. These inventories can be helpful in determining areas that couples disagree on and can help them see what they need to talk about and really decide how important each matter is. I think these inventories are really important resources for engaged couples or even just couples that are thinking about getting married. I know that in the future, my significant other and I will definitely use these resources when we seriously consider getting married.

Engagement..

So i've never really been close to engagement at all. I did enjoy talking about it today though it got me thinking. I feel like I have a better understanding of what to expect and what I want from it. I definitely want to have a premarital inventory done. I see a lot of logic in that. When it comes to my friends I can see how we influence each other too. One of my best friend was in a long term relationship and before it started getting to serious they talked about marriage. Odd because they weren't to serious and they had only been dating for a little over a year but what they did seemed right to me. They talked about their religion because they have different beliefs and different churches. Well before they wanted to continue on in their relationship in fear that they might waste all that time together and find out after they get engaged that they weren't going to be able to settle on the topic of religion they had several conversations trying to figure it out. Well sadly they ended up breaking up but it didn't bother them to much because they know if they are meant to be, they will be together. They also found out that they weren't compatible and that neither one were really wanting to change their religion for the other. Just talking in class today getting engaged and relationships are really important and it's sad when people don't take it seriously and run to vegas to get married and end up divorcing months later. It's really nice to be able to talk to my friends who are in relationship and kind of give them some guidance or try to about their relationships with what I learn in class.

I have enjoyed the past few class discussions and topics on single life and dating. I think they are very big issues to a lot of people, not just college level but everyone. Having insecurities about either one are pretty normal but listening to the discussions in class really made me think about my own life. I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years and sometimes I still really question a lot of things about our relationship. Everyone is different but hearing the 'typical' relationship characteristics is really interesting. I'm not quite sure how I feel about it all but its nice to get a different perspective on things. I think it can be hard in college to be single or in a relationship. There are so many things going on all around you all the time and it's hard to know what is right for you. I really like the things we have been talking about in class and I hope we continue this topic for awhile. I think it will help people in their lives. I know it's helping me.

Independent

I'm finally getting my own place. It's exhilarating to think about living completely on my own. Doing my own grocery shopping, paying rent, learning to cook, the freedom of growing up has finally approached. My freshman year I lived in the dorms, my sophomore year I lived in my sorority house and now I'm finally getting my own place. I just can't wait to have my own room again and be able to finally eat some decent food. Whenever I'm hungry, or want to cook, I CAN! My freshman year I unfortunately had to live in a converted Lounge room in Smith. It was awful. I was not a fan of the dining halls and I always seemed to be hungry when they were closed. My sophomore year I moved into the sorority and although it was a great experience I was not as pleased at I would have liked to be. Lunch was an hour long, dinner was a half hour. Most of the time I had class and missed out on meals that I had been paying for. We have "late plates" but most of the time someone snatches it from the fridge before I even receive it. It will be so nice to only have 3 roomates in 3 seperate rooms instead of 4 roomates living in just 1! I will finally get to sleep in my own bed again and if there's a day I feel like being messy I'm more than welcome to! I can do my laundry whenever I want and not have to worry about paying with quarters or staying up all night because the only available time slots are at 2 a.m. I can come and go as I please and I won't have to worry about "man hours" anymore! If I want a boy in my room I can surely do so. Oh, how I can't wait for May!

The reason I am blogging about this is because it reminded me of the day we talked about single life. I'm single and even though it has its low times it can also be very exciting. You can do so many things when you're young and its nice to be able to experience so many more options when you are single and independent!

my thoughts on Single life

The class of the single life is very interesting. Sometimes I want to be single, sometimes I do not want. Even though I never date with anyone before, I saw many friends around me date or married. Some of them are enjoy of dating and marriage. One of my friends who is still celibated. She is 27 years old now and she holds this opinion for more than 15 years. She said her parents had divorced because of that her father fell for another woman. She does not believe true love since that time. Maybe this is the main reason that she is celibated and she wants it that way. At the very beginning, I always tell her that do not be a permanent single. I thought that to be a permanent single one would feel very lonely about their life. Though this class I realised that there are many advantages of the being single, such as, personal development; diverse personal experiences; control over ones life and career opportunities. Now I am 20 years old. No matter I will be a single one or not, I hope I have a happy life.

Roomates

My roomate has stopped going to class. It seems she sleeps more than she is awake. I have tried to hint to her that she needs to change her habits but it's as if she doesn't care. If she doesn't get her grades up this semester she may not be attending school here in the fall. It makes me very sad to see something like this happening because she is one of my best friends and I don't know what I would do if she wasn't around. It's weird because she always goes to work and pays her bills on time and runs weekly errands but for some reason she's not focused on her schoolwork. I have tried to make her realize that to suceed to life these days you almost always have to have a higher education. But she doesn't seem to mind. Maybe it's because her parents are still helping her out alot. I guess since I started paying for everything on my own at 15 I became very independent and I learned to appreciate things a lot more. I also know how hard it is to survive in this economy without a high paying job. I guess I really hope she gets ahead of the game soon cause I want her to be in my life forever, not just until the end of the semester.