I have a couple questions about the final exam essay questions, just wandering if someone could help me out. I'm not sure if the rest of you guys all understand them completely but I'm not sure. On question 2 about describing the Family Systems Theory and not the Family Strengths, are they talking about the homeostasis, boundaries, roles and rules? On question 3 it asks to compare parenting process of behavioral regulation with the attachment theory. I guess I understand it as we are supposed to explain the behavioral regulation process and then somehow relate it to the attachment theory? I am confused because in the attachment theory, it describes the attachment bond, behavior and style but I'm not sure how it relates to the behavioral regulation process? I hope I did the other questions right because I think I have answers for those I was just confused about a few of these.

so what

I have looked into the subject, SO WHAT!

Troubled Teens

The speaker was interesting and of course unexpected. He didn't look like anyone that people would normally think of as someone who helps youth but he is probably more qualified than a lot of other people. Chris told us of his experiences while helping youth but more importantly about his past. I think the fact that he went through similar things that the teens he works with go through helps him be able to relate to them. It is easy for young adults to listen to adults who know what they are talking about and have gone through these things than to listen to those who haven't experienced at all. I have a cousin that had a lot of trouble growing up, he had to go to a lot of centers to try and get help and nothing really ever got through to him until he actually had to do some time. If he had been a program like what Chris was talking about I think it might have helped him more.

Homelessness

Chris was a really fun and entertaining. He really seemed to love his job and I liked how he didn’t come in lecturing us because we do know a lot about homelessness. What was crazy to me was the amount of information I learned from him. I didn’t realize there was so many homeless people in Lincoln. I see the half dozen or more that are downtown at nights. But I never thought where do they sleep. I know some sleep outside the post and nickel sometimes because I’ve seen them but I was ignorant in the sense that I thought a lot of these people probably had a friends house to stay in at night or a shelter or even a car. But I find out that they don’t. They sleep in the open air, even in winter. One other thing I didn’t know is that we had many prostitutes in Lincoln. I had heard people say it but I thought it was just made up and Chris talked about numerous prostitutes that he helped. I really did enjoy listening to Chris, he told it how it is and was still fun to listen to. And I think we all learned something from him.

Chris

The speaker of Tuesday’s class is very kind person. His name is Chris. At the beginning of the class, I thought this speaker was a little strange. His arms are covered by tattoos; also he spoke so loudly and so quickly. He talked so much about his job: helping homeless, run-away and at-risk teens. He told us when he was young; he was such a troubled teen. Now he is eager to help the troubled youth. He loves his job and so passional about it. During his speech, I found that there is a large number of troubled youth. They need other people’s help. There is no doubt that Chris does his job well. He understands them and has passion to help them.

Chris and CEADERS

I have already heard Chris speak this semester. The first time it was interesting. I really did learn alot as a "rich, west O" kid. I have had many opportunities to see things in south Omaha, but seeing some of the places Chris visites and knowing they are right around the courner from here was a new different reality to me. Tuesday, I knew what Chris was going to talk about, but I had the opportunity to see his humor about himself and his job. I really see now what an amazing dedicated person he has to be to do his job every day.

Yesterday's speaker was really interesting. Chris was very passionate about his work, and that was very evident. Even though I've know about runaways and at-risk youth, I never realized the number was so high in Lincoln. It was just really interesting to see the real numbers for Lincoln and learn a few more facts. Some of the pictures were really disturbing, and some of the stories I could have gone without hearing, but I think it's important for people to hear and see them. I think that Chris was a really good speaker for us to hear to help us understand some of the issues that are occuring right here in Lincoln. It's even kind of scary to hear all of the statistics. I'm really glad that Chris came and talked to us about the CEDARS program and what he does.

Homelessness

The speaker we had on Tuesday was a little bit intimidating at first. He was so loud and kept yelling profanities it was slightly uncomfortable. He was interesting to listen to though because he had a lot of good stories and information that was different misconceptions most people have of troubled teens and homeless people. When he was showing us pictures of the people on meth and talking about it, it made me slightly nauseous because the pictures were gross and the things that people put into their bodies was disturbing. I never really thought that meth was as common as it was, but it makes sense that people who use it become addicted and start losing everything, ending up on the streets. By the end of the lecture he didn't seem as intimidating, and I actually learned a lot from his speech. 

Speaker

I have seen Chris before when he came to my high school. So, I had heard everything he said before, but I still found him entertaining. You can tell he truly loves what he does and he believes in what he is doing. His whole presentation was very informing. I think his job is very important and I'm glad there are people out there who find this type of job rewarding. Homeless, run-aways and at-risk teens need help, because obviously, they are in that situation for a reason. I think it's nice that he is willing to help them out. He has been in their situation somewhat, so I think he can get people to listen to him.

I thought today's class was really interesting. The speaker was really fun and energetic. The stuff he talked about was really intense but I'm glad he came to talk to our class about it. I didn't know half of the things that he talked about. I always knew that there were homeless people around but I had no idea to the extent that there are so many in Lincoln. It's really sad looking at all of the pictures of where they live all year round. It was sad hearing about the stories about the troubled kids or runaways. I had no idea that some kids were that badly involved with drugs and sex. I feel like I'm oblivious to a lot of things that go on in my everyday life. It was kind of nice to have a reality check about what's really going on.

Speaker

I loved today's speaker. I really liked how he didn't try to spell things out to us, he simply told it how it was. I think what he does is great. There are so many people out there that need help. I found it interesting that a lot of teenagers who get kicked out of their home don't call the cops. Situations like that I wish something more could be done. I learned a lot in a short period of time and it's definitely something I would like to consider doing myself.

Tuesday's Speaker

I'll admitt I was a bit shocked by the first impression of Tuesday's speaker. But as he spoke about his presentation I could tell that he was passionate about what he does for a living. Image is something that someone should never be judged by. The way he preached his feelings about the Cedars program made me realize he was extremely dedicated to helping others. He said that when he was younger he was a troubled teen and he takes his past mistakes and helps to inspire other troubled teenagers. I was pretty moved by his influential attitude towards the subject.
Anyways, on another note I'm pretty nervous for the final because I really want an A in this class and if I get an A on the test then I will have just made it. I've already begun to study and I plan to continue for the rest of the week. I like the essay questions this time around. Hopefully I can end this semester on a good note with a good grade!

abuse

After our discussion of domestic violence last week, I knew of someone who was arrested for beating his girlfriend. I was fairly surprised but thinking about it now, their relationship is based on sex, and they always argue. I don't think anyone knew that he beat her, but had always heard them arguing. It was really scary when my friend told me that he saw him getting arrested. The girls that I have talked to were also surprised but have said they are afraid to be around him even though they don't know him that well. I wonder how long they have been dating and how long he has been abusing her. I would never ask, just because I don't know them personally. I am glad someone called the cops though. 

Money

Money is very important for every family. Sometimes, I think it determines how happy a family is. Through the class, I found that I was wrong. Even though money indispensable, it does not mean family economy. There are four meanings of money: status, security, enjoyment, control. In my family, my parents pay more attention on enjoyment of money, but it does not mean that they do not save money. In order my education; they reduce their money for enjoying. This class also made me remind the family I have interviewed. They suffering the economic problem; they have to be conservative in spending. They always reach the agreement about how to spend money and be satisfied with decision on savings. Sometimes, money can cause problems, it is ineluctable. The most important thing is that how family to deal with this kind of problem.

Home Sweet Home

YAY! My parents finally moved back to Nebraska! I'm so excited that I get to go visit my parents on the weekends. And most importantly I get to spend the summer with my parents AND my friends. There was such a small chance that the military would send my dad back to Nebraska, but thankfully they did! They found our new home within a few days. They're pretty good at picking out houses after 23 years in the military. I love going into a new home and thinking about all the memories I'm going to make there. I've driven by my old homes before, but I didn't get the same feeling that I used to get. Because those houses, aren't my home. And...actually...this new home isn't my home either... My family is my home. No matter where they move and no matter where I move. They will always be home.

So our talk about a domestic abuse was really eye opening. Its something I have never experienced but I have really strong emotions against it and I think there should be harsh punishments for people who are physically violent and there should be places that people can go that are in abusive situation. I know there are places but I think they should be advertised more or something. After we watched the video in class of concrete angel I started thinking about the song Alyssa Lies so I got online and watched it. The video wasn’t as sad as the concrete Angel song but it was sort of neat how they made it. If you don’t know the song it is about a little girl that comes home mad because her friend Alyssa lies to everyone about her parents abusing her and the dad realizes he needs to do something about it so Monday he went to the school to tell the school about the abuse and when he gets there everyone is upset and he was too late. Alyssa had passed away. It is such a sad song. The video started out with a teacher telling his high school students to watch this video then write about it. Though the video it shows the kids reactions and thing and one girl gets up and leaves the room and goes to the hall way and is crying and her teacher comes out and talks to her and she is abused and decides to do something about it now. Also at the end it said that they really played this song in some schools and kids did realize that they should do something about the abuse they are dealing with. I like that they showed that all ages are dealing with domestic violence and all ages are hiding it

The Economy and Me

Tuesdays lecture was interesting because we got to hear feedback from classmates about how the economy is affecting their lifestyles. I don't enjoy talking in front of large groups of people so I figured I'd blog about how the economy is affecting me. I had a job at a sports bar and when they cut back the amount of hours and employees they were keeping on staff, I unfortunately got the cut. Lincoln being the college town that it is, jobs are pretty scarce. It took me four months to finally get hired at a new place of employment. I applied all over town and even called places back after a week because I hadn't heard a response from them. But I still wasn't having any luck. I feel a little better knowing I'm finally employed but it disappoints me that it took so long. I had to dip into the little savings that I had and I had to subscribe to two new credit cards just to get by. So the statistics about how many students have credit cards didn't suprise me because a lot of them were probably in my situation. I was only hired as a part-time time employee and this summer I really need a full-time position to help pay for my summer courses. I feel like the economy is demanding more money than what is available to me. I know I'm not the only college student struggling , I can't even begin to think about what graduating seniors are stressing about.

Socioeconomic Diversity

I found the Socioeconomic Diversity lecture very interesting. I thought that learning about the working poor very significant. I think that it is important to know the difference between the numbers of poor that are working and the numbers of working that are poor. I also never realized there were different meanings of money. I would say that my family mostly focuses on security. My parents want to make sure that we have enough money to live on and try to save money for the future. I have carried on this trait and I don't tend to spend a lot of money for enjoyment. I can also see where I like the control of money. I like to be able to support myself and not have to depend on someone else to take care of me. I try very hard to take care of my own finances and I rarely ask for help from my parents. Being in control of my finances helps me feel more independent and makes me feel like I have more control over my life. I think that my parents helped me to be like this because they are very focused on security and making sure that they have enough money to cover their bills. I'm very glad for my parents' influence over my life and my finances because I feel that they have made me more of an independent person.

Abuse and Economy

Abuse is a word that most people are afraid to say. It is a topic that is shunned and hidden. But unfortunately happens to so many people. Because it is not talked about people don't think it happens as often as it does. The statistics in class thursday were unsettling but very true. It is a reality that people need to accept and be active in making changes about.

The economy is no joke and is especially difficult for college students who have a hard enough time as it is with money. I know that with the recession I am looking toward the future and don't want student loans and debt looming over my head when I graduate and then have to look for jobs when there really aren't any. I had to make a financially sound decision and transfer to UNO for the fall semester and stay with my parents for a little while to be able to become more financially stable.

Domestic Abuse/Socioeconomic Diversity

Domestic violence is a bigger problem than people realize. I think it happens more than people know because so many people try to hide it. If it takes 7 times for someone to leave their abusive partner, then I'm sure it takes a lot more for them to tell someone what is happening. It's scary to think that it's happening to so many people. There has been a lot of awareness lately since the whole Chris Brown/Rihanna situation. Tyra Banks has had a lot of awareness lately with teens and their abusive relationships.

Talking about socioeconomic diversity in class the other day helped me realize that things are getting tougher these days. My mom does pay for a lot of things, but now I'm trying to transition into paying for more of my own stuff, especially now that I have my own checking account. Since my parents are in the middle of a divorce, we have had to go down to a one paycheck income from my mom. It's tough having just that one income with a 3-person family. If I want anything extra I have to pay for it. Sometimes it can be tough having to pay for extra things, and not having the money for it because I can't work full-time and be a full-time student.

Socioeconomic Diversity

Socioeconomic Diversity is a new term for me. I had to really think about what was being said at the time when I first heard the word, and as a working class poor person as many others who would like to come out of this condition; I am happy that I can pay my bills, this is the grace of God at best. I am not limited to a socioeconomic class, I am lifting myself up; I have returned back to college to finish my degree in the field of Family Science, and if I am faithful this self-fulfilling prophesy (education-knowledge is power) will happen and many other baby-boomers will return to school. As we did when the computer age came into play in the early 80's; we met that challenge and we adapted to that era. Now that we are being challenged to adapt to our childrens economic system I refuse to sit on my hands and not do anything.

Today's discussion in class was a little bit of reality check for me. I'm a freshman and my parents pay for the majority of the things i have and do but they wont be there forever. I'm just starting to transition into paying for my own things but it is difficult being in school and not having very much money. I have a feeling that it is only going to get worse too with the economy. My family has always had a good amount of money and we can do extra things like vacations pretty often but this year will be different. I have never seen my parents cut back on so many things as they are doing this year. A lot of things that I just thought were normal aren't really there anymore. I took a lot of things for granted but were still doing okay. I just think it's crazy how much the economy is affecting everyone everywhere. I really hope that things will eventually start to get better but I'm not really sure how this all works.

Money

Today's lecture was good. When it comes to money in this economy it's scary to think about. My dad hasn't been laid off of work yet but I know his hours are becoming shorter and shorter each week. I looked at my parents when we talked about the different meaning of money. I see that my parents kind of have a piece of each kind of means and it seems to be good for them. They know how to spend the right amount of money for enjoyment but they know to save some of their money back. When it comes to me on the other hand I tend to put a lot more of my money toward the enjoyment part but I make sure I have plenty for the security and control and I think I've learned that through my parents. I also saw how in the future when I get married I need to make sure to talk about our relationship financially so I can be happy like my parents. I think a lot of people over look the meaning of money.

Domestic Violence

The discussion on Thursday about domestic violence was really intense. I could not believe that it usually takes a person 7 attemps before they can leave someone for good. This shows how hard it would be to be in a domestic abusive relationship and the tough decisions that follow. The warning signs were also interesting. They seem so obvious, after we were talking about them, I was saying well duh. I was thinking about how easy it is to not notice or to block out the bad from a person you are in love with. You only see what you want to see or you think everything will change someday. It could happen to anyone. Love blindsides so many people, and is very easy to get caught up in. I felt Thursday was a super emotional day. I really enjoyed hearing about Dr. Holist's son. It broke my heart to hear what some kids have to live through. Dr. Holist and his family are very strong and I was very impressed by the entire story. I felt it was very moving. Also, the concrete angel video was very intense. It is such a sad song and video but holds so much truth. There are so many times that people just let things pass by them. The main thing I got out of the class last week was NEVER JUDGE! I am glad that this got put out so well, it is such an important point.

Domestic Abuse

I have a friend who is in a very interesting relationship. Her boyfriend is emotionally and verbally abusive. He has not resorted to violence yet, but does have a strong quick temper. When he does get angry, you can see the violence ge could bring to the others in the situation. She knows she needs to get out of the relationship and it has just become a comfort, but she still goes back to him everytime he apologizes. I dont want to see her get hurt, in any way, but its hard to watch her go back. I am really not looking forward to the phone call of come pick me up, he just hit me. She is unfortunitly not the type to just up and leave because she loves him. I have a hard time understanding why she would want to stay in a relationship that is abusive and not emotionally connected any more. I know at any point, no matter how much I love the other person, as soon as abuse starts happening, Im done with the relationship. I wish more girls would understand they dont need a guy and especially a guy who is abusive. Every girl deserves the best!

Domestic Violence

we hear about the domestic violence sporadically, I did not know it (domestic violence) was so high in America. traumatic as it is, there is hope. I have hope that the next child or woman is abused that there is someone there, or that they are strong enough to get some help.
YES! RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE.

Family Interview

The family interview is really an interesting assignment. I spent a lot of time on this assignment. Before I interviewed the family, I listed a lot of questions. During the entire interview, I tried my best to connect their situation to the knowledge I learned from the class. After interview, I listened the record of interview again and again, coordinated what I can use to write the paper. I listed the situations which I chose from the interview. At the beginning, I thought it is so difficult to write a 5 pages paper. I never write such a long English paper. Even though it is difficult for me, I tried my best to do it. When I finished it, I found it full of 5 pages. During I wrote the paper, I thought of all I learned from the class, especially the Strength Family Theory. It helped me to understand them better. This assignment is a good way to connect the theories to real life.

Family Interview

The family I interviewed was a premarital birth and duel earner family. I'm not sure if I did the paper right, but I'm hoping for at least a B. It was fun interviewing the family because I never took the time to notice how their family functioned. Now that I know more about their functioning I feel closer to them.

Family Interview

The family interview for me was somewhat difficult. I have known the girl since we were both really young, but it was just hard asking her and her boyfriend those questions, because as we've grown up, we haven't been as close. She recently had a baby so the family type I chose what the premarital pregnancy. Even though it was somewhat difficult for all of us to open up and have the conversation be normal, I think this interview assignment was good. I think it is something that helps us understand other family types and how they decide to structure their family.

Family Interviews

Family Interviews was somewhat hard. I felt like I didn't know where to start in my paper for it. I did realize what the family I interviewed was more like. The family was more like the symbolic interaction theory because the family interact well with their feelings by expresses with their words. Together they develop their type of roles I saw. I also observed them too because I really wanted to see them. The family was great as a whole.

Birthday Expectations

Since we didn't have class on Tuesday I'm going to blog about people's expectations on their birthday. I have a friend whose birthday happens to be this Saturday. I have piles of homework right now, I have to work all night, and I have sorority events during the day. She's upset that I can 't celebrate this event on her actual birth day. So the stubborn person she is, she decides to go home and do her birthday stuff on Friday night (the night I'm actually available) so she can sit down here on Saturday and do nothing??? That so does not make sense. I'm trying to persuade her to go home Saturday and celebrate with her family so that we can go out and do something Friday. But no. Instead, she wants to test our friendship to see what I'll really weed out of my day just to go to a party with her at night. I love her to death but I have a life, too. Sorority events are mandatory and I'm in desperate need of money so I can't call in or have someone work for me. I'm really not in the partying mood since finals are quickly approaching. I've offered to take her for coffee in the early morning or a late dinner because that's all I have time for but no, she would rather be a spoiled friend and not even take into consideration all that I'm dealing with. I guess all you can do is try and please them, all the while trying to please yourself, too.

family interview

The family interview was fun to do and learn about the family. I just wasn’t sure how it would go once I sat down to type it. I wasn’t sure if I had all the information I need to write a 5 pg paper. Once I got typing I realized it was flowing a lot better than I thought. I didn’t think I would get 5 pages but I easily did. I had to sort of cut myself off. I feel like I got to know the family I did a lot better and it was a really neat fun assignment.

Family Interview

I really enjoyed the family interview process. I did think it was hard starting the interview, but my interviewee opened up it was easier to go with the flow and ask questions. I interview someone who is a mother, widow, remarried, stepmother and stepgrandmother, she is now losing her husband to Alzhimer's. Her story was facinating to hear how her roles changed when her youngest daughter moved out then 6 months later losing her husband to cancer. It was also interesting to hear how supportive all her children where when she decided to remarry. When I first heard about the interview, I was dreading another homework assignment where we had to interview someone about personal matters. I really do think it has helped me understand the function and process behind families more!

Family Interview

I found the family interview somewhat difficult. It was hard to understand exactly what we were supposed to do, and I wasn't sure that I was doing it right. Although I understood how the family functions and processes things, it was still hard to explain it the way that he wanted it done, or how I thought he wanted it done. I did my best, and hopefully that will be enough. I hope I understood the way the Dr. Hollist wanted the paper done, and I hope that I explained the family functions and process appropriately. I found it hard to explain the dynamics of the family, especially when we had to keep the structure and content to a minimum. Hopefully I completed the assignment correctly, and will get a good grade on this assignment.

Interview

I really enjoyed the Family Interview assignment. It was nice to get to know a family friend's family. It was interesting to also try and dig deeper to understand the function of their family and not just the structure. I loved applying everything we have learned in class to the information I learned from them. I interviewed a family that had a premarital pregnancy and got to see how it interfered with their relationship and how they have grown from it. I was able to see the conflict theory work in them and see how they handled everything. Through the interview I was able to see all the things I have learned in the class.

Interview Paper

I read over the rubric for the interview assignment but I didn't feel like I got that great of understanding of exactly what the paper was supposed to consist of. I feel like it was difficult for my family to open up to me especially when the mother was the main mouth piece and she didn't want the family to seem anything but perfect. The questions didn't really help me because they were extremely extensive about private matters and if the family wasn't comfortable it was hard to get any information. But I feel like I did well on the paper, honestly I just did the best that I could.

I feel like I did pretty well on the family interview. It was really hard for me to get started and figure out what I was going to do. When I finally realized what family I would use I didnt know how to conduct the interview or write the paper. Eventually I wrote the paper but it was difficult for me because I just wanted to talk about the family's story and their lives. I really tried hard to incorporate things from class that delt with the family but it was a challenge. I spent a lot of time on it and I really hope that I do well on the paper. I think I learned a lot from this assignment. I realized how hard it can be to focus on the process and fuction of the family rather than the structure. The process is really the only thing that matters anyway but noone realizes that.

FAMILY INTERVIEW

I had been putting off the family interview for weeks. I felt I did not understand the purpose of the assignment and what we were suppose to be looking for. I was unsure how to notice the function. Finally over spring break I conducted my family interview. It was amazing. I got to know the family really well. It was very interesting to watch them interact because they are nothing like my family. I learned so much about function just from watching how they talk to each other and about each other. The most interesting part about it was noticing the different roles each member had in their family. During class I was thinking I was unsure if anyone in my family really had roles. After listening to this family talk with each other, it was very clear they each had a very set role. I really enjoyed this assignment. It was interesting and challenging. I learned so much from it. I was very disappointed we did not have class today, I was looking forward to discussing about family interviews with other students.

Family Interview

I have spent a lot of time with the family interview. Although, I have gotten to know the family I thought I knew better, this has really helped me to be able to do a written case report; witch I think is what the assignment was intended to teach. I really praise our instructor for such cleaver way of teaching.

natural consequences

A story I thought about after we talked about allowing natual consequences to be the teacher is when I was in 1st grade I think I went for a bike ride with my mom and she had been trying to talk me into taking my training wheels off but I am not the person to really try new things. I was scared so she just let me leave them on and we were riding around my home town and we go past this family and the little girl yells, “mom look at that big girl with training wheels!” I have always been tall for my age so I was only like 6-7 years old but I made my mom hurry home and I took my training wheels off right when I got home and learned to ride with out them. So my mom didn’t force me to take them off she let me decide when. And I look back now and think that story is funny and a great lesson too that kids don’t have to be told to do things they can learn on their own.

Childhood

I didn't really have much of a childhood. I kind of had to grow up fast because we had a lot of kids in our family and a lot going on so we all had to help out. But one thing that I do remember is that with some of my aunts and my sister and girl cousins we used to always hold a fashion show. We would go down to the Goodwill and just get a bunch of dresses and we would get dressed up and our aunts would do our make up and we would wear the clothes in front of our moms and dads. I even had old pictures from it. That was a memory I honestly hadn't thought about in years but it was one of the better memories I have from growing up.

Dressing up of children

I found that every child likes to dress up, girls like to dress up like a princess, and boys like to dress up like a gentleman. Dressing up of children is really a funny thing. When I was young, I always liked to dress up like my mother, dressed her high heel shoes and worn her blouse, also, I liked to worn my father’s glasses because it is looks like I am so smart. Maybe it is just because the children want to acting older than they are or acting as someone they want to be. I think, through observing children’s dressing up, parents can easily know what they like and what they think about. The style that children's dressing up is a good topic for communication between parents and young children.

Families with Young Children

My brother and his fiance recently had a baby girl. Before Sophia was born they liked to party a lot and buy lots of new things. It was so interesting to watch them completely change their lives around. Suddenly everything was about Sophia and what they were going to do to make her life better. I am so proud of them for finally growing up and taking on responsibilities.

Gender as a Child!

Wow, Tuesday's class really showed how much I was into adult play. I was never the princess, and I mean NEVER!!! I was always the teacher when playing school, crazy aunt in house or the house hold pet. I always liked being able to do what I wanted, especially since I was very independent as a child. I knew play was a good way to interact with other children and show personality, but I didnt realize to the affect it had on how I interact with people still today. I'm the "adult" you see rolling around on the floor with the younger kids or the one who always offers to supervise, its always more fun then being in the adult world. I guess this wanting to play came from my parents. They were huge on the play time. We lived in Omaha and my Dad commuted to Lincoln for work every day. This made a very long day for him and my mom, who was stuck with us all day. As kids, we knew dad came home at 7, we ate dinner, he read the paper as we did our after dinner chores and by the time we were finished it was play time. We played hard core, since we are all very competitive for about an hour then it was bed time. I still like that after dinner time. I know my 11 year old brother enjoys it more when the two of us in college are home. He is just as competitive as we are, and I dont think he really remembers me living at home full time. It will be interesting how Eric and I interact with him this summer. I'm going to be working full time and taking classes, Eric will be home working full time and its his first summer home from school, and this year Trevor is on a select baseball team. Interactions with him and play are going to look a little different!

It though Tuesdays class was great. I have a lot of younger cousins that I babysit a lot. It was interesting to apply what I learned that day to what I already had observed. You would think playing was just playing and there was nothing more to it. But play actually means a lot of things. Play is the biggest form of communication for small children. After we discussed this, it made a lot of sense. Most kids can not communicate emotions, feelings, or just have a hard time getting through to what they ware trying to say. Play is the easiest way to let someone know how they feel. They may not do this intentionally but this is how it works out. I find this is true a lot with my little girl cousins. We play barbies a lot, it seems that whatever is on their little minds for the day, is the subject of the day. If they are mad they don't get to go to the zoo, that is what is happening in barbie land too. Another thing I though was really interesting was that shoes are the most common dress up accessory. I guess this is not so surprising since they are so accessible and large shoes relate to large people. This is really neat to think of the symbol that is being created of "growing into someones shoes" and wanting to be just like them. It made me think of the the play/dress up shoes I had and how much I like to wear them and why. Tuesdays class was very fun and interesting to me, I really enjoy applying what I learn in class outside the classroom every day.

Tuesday's lecture was very interesting. Since I babysit all the time, it's good to know about child's play. I babysit a 1 year old every Monday, and her parents told me that she can be very clingy sometimes, but other times she likes to play by herself. Since we don't know each other very well yet (Monday was my first day watching her), when she started getting fussy I wasn't exactly sure what she wanted. Once I get to know her a little more I will be able to tell what she needs right away, it just takes time!

I think it's fascinating how a child's play can determine so much about them. But now that I think about it, when I was little all I liked to play was with dolls and playing house with friends. To this day, my dream job is to be a stay at home mom with a family. If that doesn't happen, the next closest thing for me is to own a daycare. I have always liked playing house and dolls, so I think that said a lot for who I am now.

Parenting

I enjoyed listening to Tuesdays lecture. It was really interactive and it was nice to hear everyone's input on the topic. It really made me think about once I have children. I guess I'm a little old fashioned when it comes to raising kids. I think the way I was raised was not too strict, but it was strict enough to where I would never act up infront of my parents. I never really thought about having to split my thoughts and feelings with another person. If my significant other diagrees with a way I handle a certain situation I'm not sure how I would handle that. I'm not a very lenient person. I believe in practicing in what I preach and having some who doesn't believe in something I do may cause some difficulites. I suppose once I get married and actually have children my thoughts will change a little. 10 years from now things could be extremely different. Also, the city that I choose to live in will play a huge part in how I raise my children. I thought it was very interesting hearing about the different things you can learn just from watching kids. They actually can teach us a lot and its cool to learn how to read their actions. The main thing I learned from class was to really think and analyze the problem before reacting to your children. (This blog relates to class because it talks about everything we mentioned during lecture)

Genders..

I loved the lecture today. My mom is a daycare provider so I get my share of stories and play time and dress up time with all the kids when I come home. I know for a fact I will pay more attention when I play and watch them play next time. I do know I've noticed several times the way it makes a form of communication for them though. A time I remember because it was the most recent would be over spring break. One of my favorite little boys, because I watch him in the summer and his mother is my boss, dressed up in a dress with all the other little girls. I asked him what he was doing and he said he was sissy. I could it was easy to tell he looked up to his sissy who was also dressed up in a dress. It's just funny to know that the different genders doesn't matter they look up to each other no matter what. A question I wanted to ask in class was the communication between different genders. I remember when I was little at recess the boys would play tractors and the girls weren't allowed. It's like the boys know their roles and we were suppose to go play barbies or house because that's what girls do. Watching kids understand gender roles is very interesting.

yeah I didn't think the test was that bad either. There were a few questions that I really didn't understand but sometimes its hard for me to think in the context that the questions are being asked. I was so happy that we got the essay question that we did because I thought I knew the most about the conflict section than any other section. The conflict section just made sense to me. I feel like I have had a lot of experience in that area and it wasn't hard to relate at all to what we were talking about. I'm really excited to start talking about families and kids. I absolutely love kids. I really like the process of families and how they deal with their kids' issues. I'm excited to learn more about this topic. I hope that it can give me some tips on parenting someday.

Test and Conflict

I didn't think that the test was that bad although I did have some difficulty on some of the questions. I always blank on the fill in the blank questions but I think i answered them correctly after some thought. The first essay queston from off of the possible questions made no sense to me. I don't remember every going through a chart like that. I remember when students went up to the board and charted the fights and resolutions but the one from the essays didn't look like that so I am very happy that we didn't get that question. My favorite part of the test lectures during this section was probably the conflict resolution. I am an intense fighter and am the type of person that feels like they are always right so learning how to compromise and look at a situation from someone else's view is something new.

Prom :(

I have a dilemna. So this guy from my work likes me, and I don't like him. He's nice and all but I don't think we are that compatible and he is in high school. I do not want to date a person in high school. Before I knew he liked me, he asked me to prom, and I am too nice of a person to say no. Also I don't think I am ready to date anyone, and if I did, it would disrupt the homestasis of the relationship. I will still go, and have a good time, but I don't want to give them the idea that I am interested beyond friends. Hopefully everything will work out. 

Now that we've learned about conflict resolution, my fiance and I have fixed a few things. We fight EVERY TIME we get in the car. We hardly ever fight in other situations, but when we get in the car, its guaranteed that we'll fight. After listening to the lecture about conflict resolution we've been able to figure out WHY we were fighting and how we can work through it.

Dance of Anger

Conflict is like a dance in Lenner’s opinion. It is so visual. There are five style in Lernner’s dance: pursuers, underfunctioners, overfunctioners, distancers, blamer. These styles describe the conflict very vividly. When underfunctioner just keep silence, overfunctioner may need to control the conflict. When distancers go out of conflict, pursuer mayl pursue them. Even though it is a little difficult to understand just look at these words, it is better to know it in the real situation. In addition, there are other interactional cycles, these cycles are not the process of arguing, but the things that occur during arguing. To understand stand Lenner’s style of dance is helpful to understand how to resolute the conlicts.

The TEST

Well, what I can I say about the test on Tuesday? It was somewhat hard but as I got to certain questions I understood better. I hope in the future it will get better. Like for the final and any other last test we have. I still don't know what I got on the test but I hope it was good. I'm even scared to look at it! Well I hope for the best next time and may God be with me.

Conflict Resolution

I use conflict resolution in my day to day work. It become part of my life over the past 2 years, ever since I became an RA. I do use this in my day to day matters, but it has become more of a job thing! I have learned to stay level headed and come down very quickly from a conflict, especially when its coming from huge drunk football players! I look back at how intimidating and weird those situations where and laugh about them now. I have even had great conversations with this guys since the craziness when done. It has been an interesting job and I know it will come in usefull in my life down the road!

I thought Exam 2 was more difficult than exam 1. The hardest part was the fill in the blank section at the end of the multiple choice questions. The fill in the blank questions were the most challenging part. Besides those questions it was about the same level or difficulty as exam 1. I enjoyed the essay question more on this exam than the first one. It was easier to write about and I felt more prepared. I never missed class and that also helped a lot with the essay question, there we so many points I remembered from class and were able to expand on them.

I have really been enjoying our classes on conflict resolution. I find them very interesting and helpful. I believe that that is something I will take out of this class and remember forever. It does not matter how bad your fights are as long as you get it completely resolved each time. That is something I will take out of class and already have tried to apply it to my life, so make my relationships with others as best as they can possibly be.

The last couple of lectures about conflict resolution and been interesting and helpful in dealing with conflicts that arise. I normally tried to avoid conflict at all costs, but after learning more about confict resolution, I realize that avoidance is not a good option during a conflict. I should try to deal with the conflict, and focus more on the process of dealing with the conflict rather than the actual content. It's just really interesting for me to see how I deal with situations and how others deal with the same situation and what the healthy way to deal with the situation is. Thinking about others during a conflict helps resolve the conflict because you aren't so focused on yourself and can really think about the big picture and not just minor details. I think that learning about conflict resolution is helpful not just for marriage, but in all relationships that you have throughout your life.

Test 2

I thought test number 2 was way harder than the first exam. I did not like the way 3 of the 4 fill in the blank questions were about conflict resolution because I had to miss the class right before the test and there should not have been so many questions referring to just one lecture. I read every single chapter that was assigned and there wasn't a whole lot about conflict resolution. So when we were asked "what is the most important characteristic about conflict resolution" I didn't know what to say. I had a very good explanation for my essay question but for some reason I feel like the only way I could fully answer the question correctly would be if I made reference to that question. (which I didn't) I really hope that the extra credit readings will be posted on blackboard because I couldnt really use ten extra credit points. Or maybe some other opportunities for extra credit could be presented. I really enjoy this class because it's interesting and I've only missed a total of two classes so it's hard for me to accept that I did bad on the tests when I study and attend class. I just don't get it. I guess you just never know what to expect when it comes to exams.

single life,what's that?

After being with one woman for 30 years, I can not even begin to think what it would be like to be single again. Of course my adult children try to make me feel old because their mom and I don't get out as much on the town as our children and their "single" friends; movies and going out to dinner is much more fun at home, I think. So lets be honest, which is better the single life where you spend all your money and then ask mom and dad for gas on Monday because you spent all your money over the weekend, where you got know love or money, and you are beginning to look for a new lover allover again; I know, I'm just old. single life, what's that?

Recent Classes

I've really enjoyed the last couple of classes we've had. The lessons have been good, and the conversations we've had in class are really interesting. I think it's good to have a class about this and learn about these kinds of things before we get married and start a family. I believe it can make a huge difference when it comes to communicating with your partner.

I've learned a lot these past couple weeks than I have since this class first started. The best thing I've learned in the past couple weeks is that it's not how much you fight or how heated those arguments can get--it's how fast you can get over those arguments and move on. I think arguing some in a relationship can make it stronger if you work it out.

Talking about conflict has really interested me. Plus knowing yourself how to resolve and deal with conflicts is great information to remember. So many people think that it's what your fighting over that matters but it really makes sense that it isn't. The way you fight will always be the same no matter what the conflict is over so focusing on fixing that would obviously be the best way to make your relationship healthier. The information about watching how you deal with the conflict will really help me when i deal with friends who are in a fights with their partner and like to vent to me. I will know what to say to them and how to help them move on and make their relationships stronger.

I'd have to agree with your feelings on conflict. I sometimes feel like I can make it worse or even cause it sometimes. It's totally unintentional but it's really easy to just put the blame on someone else when you don't feel like taking the heat for something you did. When I think about some of the fights I've gotten in with people I really feel bad because in some of them I didn't do anything to help it, just make it worse. The things that I am learning in this class can really help me in my life. I am hoping that the next time I get into an arguement with someone I will try and remember the skills I've learned in class to help resolve the conflict rather than focus on the content of it.